meet me on the midway
today's new pregnancy symptom: persistent coughing due to congestion caused by swelling of nasal passages in conjunction with the swelling of everything else. but i am not complaining.
*****
we got to see deadbabymama yesterday and get roti for lunch, which i enjoyed greatly but afterwards not at all. my roti just had too much spinach in it, and i ate the whole thing when i could have stopped at a third of it and still been miserably full, but everyone else ate their whole roti in about five seconds flat, and i didn't want to waste all that food and then be hungry five minutes down the road, so i persisted. fortunately, the way the day worked out, we didn't eat dinner until after 9:00 last night, just as i was finally starting to feel the tiniest bit of relief. i have been talking about roti since the last time i had it (last november), but i am over it for a while.
something came up over lunch about the artist formerly known as prince, then an unpronounceable symbol, and then prince again. apparently he lost his son right after birth due to a rare disease or something. deadbabymama of course knew this being prince's greatest fan. when she told us about his son, justin said, oh, i didn't know he was one of us. i found that statement very comforting. prince can feel my pain.
*****
deadbabymama left to fly to new york (i hope she made it - there were floods in toronto and all kinds of airport delays on the news last night) and the rest of us went to the canadian national exposition - sort of a state fair for the whole country, complete with animals, vegetable competitions, international dance shows, fried food of every kind, midway games, rides and booths selling every possible item you could ever need (or not) to buy. it poured rain most of the time we were there, but we strategically ran from building to building to escape the worst of it. the highlights were the rajistani (oh, there's no way i'm spelling that right) dancers and the tiny tom's mini donuts in cinnamon sugar, "made while you LOOK" - and it is a testament to the force of the roti that four hours after i ate it i could still only eat three mini donuts, which are nature's perfect food, truly. i wish i had some more tiny tom's now.
we resisted the urge to buy anything froggy for the tadpole yesterday, mainly since the froggy things we saw were all big and ugly and generally had giant red tongues or giant red eyes. i guess we're going more for cute and cuddly and romanticized as opposed to realistic.
*****
the friends we're visiting are lovely, and their new son ben is lovely, and they are easy to spend time with - we've traveled a little with them before, which is a major compliment, i think. we can talk about hans in their presence and they don't shrink back in horror. they are not afraid to discuss all things baby-related with us (which most of the universe is). but here's what's getting to me: i am tired of ben's mom telling me how pregnancy is going to be. i know she means well, and i'm sure she just is happy, as a new mother, to tell newly-pregnant people what to expect. but i already know what to expect. i have had a full-term pregnancy. i have been through labor and delivery. and i did it all three months ahead of her. at lunch yesterday, she made a couple of comments that made me want to yell big ugly swear words at her. i mean, deadbabymama and i have both had children; we do not need her to help us with our expectations. i could be overreacting; later i will ask deadbabymama how she felt. but i had been getting that vibe from ben's mom for nearly 24 hours already, and at lunch i had reached my breaking point. i know it's easy to forget that i have some experience at this, when i'm not toting a child around with me, but try to remember, okay?
*****
i do not want to go home today. i do not want to return to the disaster left by our frenzied, last-minute packing. i do not want to go back to work and face questions from my co-worker who was convinced i was pregnant before i knew i was and then was on vacation all last week and will be pouncing on me the minute i walk in the door, because i have not told my boss yet and it will get complicated. i do not want to think about the ultrasound on wednesday, which will be the first time i return to the place where i learned hans was dead. i would like to stay on vacation permanently. i need a good trust fund.
*****
we got to see deadbabymama yesterday and get roti for lunch, which i enjoyed greatly but afterwards not at all. my roti just had too much spinach in it, and i ate the whole thing when i could have stopped at a third of it and still been miserably full, but everyone else ate their whole roti in about five seconds flat, and i didn't want to waste all that food and then be hungry five minutes down the road, so i persisted. fortunately, the way the day worked out, we didn't eat dinner until after 9:00 last night, just as i was finally starting to feel the tiniest bit of relief. i have been talking about roti since the last time i had it (last november), but i am over it for a while.
something came up over lunch about the artist formerly known as prince, then an unpronounceable symbol, and then prince again. apparently he lost his son right after birth due to a rare disease or something. deadbabymama of course knew this being prince's greatest fan. when she told us about his son, justin said, oh, i didn't know he was one of us. i found that statement very comforting. prince can feel my pain.
*****
deadbabymama left to fly to new york (i hope she made it - there were floods in toronto and all kinds of airport delays on the news last night) and the rest of us went to the canadian national exposition - sort of a state fair for the whole country, complete with animals, vegetable competitions, international dance shows, fried food of every kind, midway games, rides and booths selling every possible item you could ever need (or not) to buy. it poured rain most of the time we were there, but we strategically ran from building to building to escape the worst of it. the highlights were the rajistani (oh, there's no way i'm spelling that right) dancers and the tiny tom's mini donuts in cinnamon sugar, "made while you LOOK" - and it is a testament to the force of the roti that four hours after i ate it i could still only eat three mini donuts, which are nature's perfect food, truly. i wish i had some more tiny tom's now.
we resisted the urge to buy anything froggy for the tadpole yesterday, mainly since the froggy things we saw were all big and ugly and generally had giant red tongues or giant red eyes. i guess we're going more for cute and cuddly and romanticized as opposed to realistic.
*****
the friends we're visiting are lovely, and their new son ben is lovely, and they are easy to spend time with - we've traveled a little with them before, which is a major compliment, i think. we can talk about hans in their presence and they don't shrink back in horror. they are not afraid to discuss all things baby-related with us (which most of the universe is). but here's what's getting to me: i am tired of ben's mom telling me how pregnancy is going to be. i know she means well, and i'm sure she just is happy, as a new mother, to tell newly-pregnant people what to expect. but i already know what to expect. i have had a full-term pregnancy. i have been through labor and delivery. and i did it all three months ahead of her. at lunch yesterday, she made a couple of comments that made me want to yell big ugly swear words at her. i mean, deadbabymama and i have both had children; we do not need her to help us with our expectations. i could be overreacting; later i will ask deadbabymama how she felt. but i had been getting that vibe from ben's mom for nearly 24 hours already, and at lunch i had reached my breaking point. i know it's easy to forget that i have some experience at this, when i'm not toting a child around with me, but try to remember, okay?
*****
i do not want to go home today. i do not want to return to the disaster left by our frenzied, last-minute packing. i do not want to go back to work and face questions from my co-worker who was convinced i was pregnant before i knew i was and then was on vacation all last week and will be pouncing on me the minute i walk in the door, because i have not told my boss yet and it will get complicated. i do not want to think about the ultrasound on wednesday, which will be the first time i return to the place where i learned hans was dead. i would like to stay on vacation permanently. i need a good trust fund.
posted by laura at 7:52 AM
1 Comments:
"I need a good trust fund."
Don't we all.
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