...two for the money, three for the show...

more progress: almost 2 is now 3 whole centimeters! in just 48 hours! no wonder i've been in such agony the last couple of days - i've got a major case of continental drift in my pants. which reminds me to not dither with this wait-and-see crap when i do get admitted to the hospital but to go straight for the epidural.

more progress still: i'm waiting for the confirmation call now, but we will do the amnio on either the 31st or 1st with induction to follow as soon as we get the amnio results, to which i say, hallelujah! i snapped out of my 18 month coma of not caring today and put on my game face (i.e. mascara and lipstick and so forth) as a way of armoring up to face my ob, but it turned out to not be necessary. so now i will have to deal with the removal of mascara for nothing - but i can't even work up much energy to complain about it, i'm so happy. as to the possibility of going into labor sometime in the LESS THAN TWO WEEKS before the induction, let's call it 40%. the ob hesitantly gave me a 50/50 shot before saying it was maybe more like 30%. whatever - if it doesn't happen first, i have a definitive date!!!!! what this event does for my mental health is nothing short of miraculous, i tell you.

still more: from the more-than-you-wanted-to-know department, the quality of the pinkish/brownish matter emanating forth from my hoo-ha is fairly impressive.

i'm beginning to believe this thing is actually going to happen. what a contrast from where i was at this point with hans: i was laying on the couch most of the time, believing (despite all indications - false ones - to the contrary) that it was never going to happen. when we were out walking last night (translation: while justin was running up a month's worth of recyclables up to the market and i was dragging along slowly behind, moaning), it occurred to me how far we've come: 36 weeks ago yesterday, my first post-tadpole period started and i was raring to get back in the game (if you'll pardon the mix of metaphors). just five short weeks before that event, we were morbidly laughing at justin's unintentionally choice of music-to-absorb-the-shock-of-another-loss-by, "and you will know us by the trail of dead." and now here we are, scheduling inductions and wondering if, at this pace of dilation, milo won't just fall out while i'm walking around.

i can't wait to see his face, to see if he looks like hans, or justin, or me, or someone else (like a relative - i wasn't suggesting there were other potential sperm suppliers). i can't wait to see what his personality is like, what his temperament is, to hear what his cries sound like, and eventually what his voice sounds like. tomorrow night, we're going to go see my not-quite-so-new niece, who i hear has grown so much i won't recognize her. i wonder if she and her cousin milo will look anything alike.

meanwhile, tonight is one of the last carseat-free social engagements of our lives for a while. we're headed to the art museum for their jazz program, where david and toni and zelda and orson will be saving us seats. it'll be great to kick back (and eat!) with people who understand the roller coaster we're on and to run with zelda and orson, who no doubt will have grown outrageously since we saw them last.

someday, milo will be giddy with the excitement of getting to hang out with "big kids" zelda and orson. and further on, someone else's kids will think that about milo. amazing.