send sleep
today is that day: so, so tired; so, so dysfunctional. i need sleep, i need to pay bills, i need milo to not pee on his umbilical stump every time his diaper is changed, i need a lifetime supply of shout to keep up with all of those clothes on which he has peed, and i need sleep. i also need milo to start gaining some weight; at monday's almost-1-week checkup, he had lost a whole pound, which of course is just something new to freak out about, besides his breathing problems at birth, and the universe's way of slapping me down for being so smug about breastfeeding being such a breeze. i need a 24-hour coma. or a 24-hour twilight sedation while receiving spa treatments and fluids.
i also have a great need to write, but insufficient time for the task. so in short, a couple of the things on my mind:
i also have a great need to write, but insufficient time for the task. so in short, a couple of the things on my mind:
- does it make me a bad parent that in his 9 days of life milo has been to target four times? and which is worse: that i'm setting a poor example for him as a global citizen by going to box stores, or that i'm circulating him out among the masses at such an early and susceptible-to-disease age?
- don't get me wrong: ina may gaskin is still a loon, but there may be the tiniest nugget of truth in her madness (as there usually is in all insane theories). i've been thinking about the eroticism of the whole birthing process, but it's a long post i need time to develop. let me get back to you on this one.
someday, i will write again, and i will post pictures - we only have about a thousand of milo at this point. i'm working on sooner rather than later. but i'm not in a position to make any promises.
posted by laura at 12:50 PM
18 Comments:
want to know something funny? the only mommy drive-bys i've ever gotten (from anyone other than my own mom, of course) is when i brought gatito to target several times in those early days. we also bundled him up, plopped him in the bjorn and went out for lots of walks in the cold. he was fine and i'm sure milo is too! just don't let anyone sneeze on him.
don't be too hard on yourself if you need to supplement with some formula in the beginning. we used a syringe at first since i was worried about nipple confusion. but don't listen to me because i totally failed breast feeding. :)
Please remember that weight loss guidelines are based on formula feeding statistics. Breastfed babies do tend to develop differently. Do NOT panic. And if you are panicking anyway, you can try a nurse-in. Stay in bed for a weekend and snuggle and sleep and nurse. It's fabulous.
i wish i *could* send sleep to you!
Catherine is right, bf babies do not gain as much at first. Watch for signs of dehydration but if he is peeing all over the place as you say, i think he is probably fine. There is that tea that supposedly bulks up your milk supply, if it would make you feel better to *do* something else pro-active. But it sounds like he is doing great!
Oh dear. The days of sleep are gone - at least for a while. I thought I would never get over it. Frankly, I still feel like I am catching up! With that said, there is something okay about it. I think it has to do with that amazing indescribable feeling that washes over you when you gaze at them. Somehow that makes it all worth it.
As far as the feedings go, are you consuming enough calories? Remember you burn about 500 calories a day just breastfeeding. You need to beef up your calorie intake to help with Milo's intake. Is there a nursing consultant at the hospital? I talked to mine a couple of times after we brought little R home. Another suggestion is to find a Le Leche League in your area. I never joined, but I hear it's a great support group.
Hang in there!
I don't know anything about BF'ig, so I can't help there, but I sure wish I could sent some chunkiness to Milo and some sleep to you and Justin.
Oh, and you're NOT a bad mommy for taking him to Target. We took Andrew to Wal-Mart directly after his 1-week appt after being told NOT to take him in public. He's totally fine, and Milo will be, too. Sending huge hugs...Take care of yourself!!
We had Eleanor at Costco and Babies R'Us six days after her birth. I wouldn't have done it in cold/flu season, but I figured that in July, it would be fine. I'd have gone crazy if I didn't leave the house.
I'm sorry about the sleeplessness and Milo's weight loss. I don't have an answer for you about the BFing (except to say that you shouldn't panic) but I can tell you that even just three weeks out from where you are, it gets better...a little. I wouldn't say I'm getting anywhere near enough sleep, but it's more than I had been getting, and she's so cute and fun during the day that it makes it all worth it.
Hang in there. Can't wait to see pictures!
We also took Gideon out quite a lot soon after he was born. People seemed to be shocked. I just needed to get out after being a shut in for a year. But I assume he's probably in his infant seat or some kind of sling or something, right? So, I mean...what is he really getting exposed to?
Also, I think it's common for babies to lose weight after birth before regaining. Since I know you want to BF, I know that a lot of people seem to recommend Fenugreek to increase your supply.
The sleep...well...I can't help you there. I think that ultimately that led to the downfall of bfing for me. I got so exhausted I started to totally break down so I supplemented with formula and that led to a vicious cycle. I wish I could help you out with that one. You will get sleep eventually. Are you cosleeping? We were too freaked out to do it, but we did keep Gideon in a bassinet by the bed. Sometimes he even slept in our bed in his infant seat so we couldn't roll over on him...close proximity seemed to help a tiny bit with the sleep in those early days.
Oh yeah...erotic birth? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. :)
Hey, if you find a prescription for that 24 hour coma, could you send some my way?
You're doing a wonderful job...
Oh for goodness sake! I wish I could bitch slap any professional who has you feeling either guilty or panicked:( Dehydration is the most important thing and as long as he is peeing, his skin doesn't suddenly get dry and flakey and his fontenelle doesn't sink too dramatically (it WILL feel sunken even between feeds so get to know 'normal' sunken)he's probably ok. Is he alert or lethargic? And any stats based on formula feeding are going to be grossly different from what you are experiencing. If he seems content and you are getting a few minutes of alertness, just enjoy him:)
Plus there are genetics. Milo may just be programmed to metabolise breastmilk a certain way. He may be adjusting to a 'new' starting weight from which he will start to be 100% Milo-ish. My kids were born average but thanks to their 6'7" dad they put on mega amounts of weight immediately, which so far have correlated to their heights later on. Lucas, on the other hand was born enormous and did what Milo is doing and at a year old is sitting comfortably in the 3rd percentile bracket, tiny but thriving and developing. Milo will do wht he is born to do.
Meantime, you are only a bad mum if you go to Target 4 times with Milo and DON'T BUY ANY PRESENTS FOR HIM;) Stuff the rest of it - giving birth doesn't mean you have to be housebound. And I love Ina May, but don't be coming near my box when it's hurting....not cool!
Welcome to normal life! I promise you, everything you are experiencing at this point is absolutely normal! Just remind yourself: everything you go through with your son will be a phase. It will all end at some point. Someday you will sleep through the night again and feel like a new person. Someday Milo will weigh 30 pounds and your arms will be falling off. Someday. Hang in there.
The beauty of all of this going out stuff is that after Laura had left the restaurant/bar - where I stayed to finish a drink with my cousins from Puerto Rico - that our high rish peri rolled up with a couple of hot resident/med students... I'd entertained going up and talking to him, but didn't want to play a) cock-block or b) mention that our son was just moments before, sitting outside of the bar in the open air patio.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
You sound like me when I used to work three jobs in college. And it's wonderful.
ps Don't worry about taking him to Target; the only real risk is that he might wind up overstimulated by all those red circles. But for the love of God, avoid Wal-Mart. He might wind up driving a beat-up Pontiac, loving George Bush, y'all.
drinking a pint of Guiness Stout daily increases Milk supply brilliantly. I did it with my daughter and it worked a treat. [if you think it sounds weird, you can check it here http://www.earthyfamily.com/A-remBF.htm scroll down to the mini-header HOPS]. and yes, I 2nd everything Jill said about observing signs and what everyone else said about early weight loss being normal. Also wish I could send some sleep your way. and simply *can't*wait*for*more MILO*pics. Get Justin to upload some if he gets a chance?
Okay, stop putting stain remover on pee - that should gain you another 5 minutes of sleep!
It will get better, he will sleep more and gain weight. Miraculously you will also sleep more and lose weight - hooray!
Don't worry about taking him out and about. It isn't like it is 20 below and you are hauling him outside with no hat or socks on his feet. (I have seen people do that in cold weather and it drives me crazy) I bet lots of people are adoring him while you are out shopping and that will turn him into a flirt and social butterfly. ;)
Since I am a cleaning freak, you don't need to use Shout on pee. Just get a 5 gallon bucket, or as big of a bucket that you have, fill it with hot water and take some of the dry bleach, safe for colors stuff and dissolve it in the water. Leave that in a sink or tub that you don't use alot, if you have one or at least in a spot that if it splashes nothing will get damaged. Toss his clothes into that as he dirties them during the day and then when the bucket is full, dump the whole thing, water and clothes into the wash machine and let it go. If you are worried about his skin being irritated, do a second rinse. I had to do this with my son only I didn't have a washer and dryer I had to take it all to the laundry mat. I hope you have your own washer. Good luck.
He will start to gain weight too and like others have stated, since you are breast feeding you can't tell how much he is taking it, but he will let you know when he needs more. That is about the only instructions that come with a new born. Congratulations to you and Justin. So glad you are all doing so well.
You can chalk this up to assvice, but Mimi got sick 3 times in the first three months. And I made everyone who touched her purel their hands or wash them and dry with a clean towel. (Yes I was that woman). A sick tiny baby is really sad, and a young baby or mom on antibiotics = breastfeeding difficulties. If we have another baby ever, we will not go out for at least a month! Her pediatrician looked at me like I was the worst person in the world when I told her Mimi must have gotten sick when I was picking up my diaperbag.
Can you talk to a lactation consultant about the weight stuff? I know ours was really realistic and open and awesome in those early hormone fluctuating weeks when Mimi wasn't gaining well. The baby's health was her priority, but breastfeeding was up there too. (It pays off later. It does. Really.)
You sound very even-keel. I hope you get sleep when you can take it. Rest, realize almost everything can wait, and gaze lovingly at that sweet, quiet baby profile. Oh Milo! Can't wait to see your picture again. :)
How are you guys doing? I'm thinking about you!
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