2

so we made it. when we woke up yesterday, we talked to milo about his brother and showed him the pictures in the little flip album we brought with us. we had a nice dinner by the pool, watching the sunset and the waves, and then we took back to our casita a piece of pay de limon, the local dessert (at least for tourists) that's similar to key lime pie, only with coconut added, i think. on our porch, we set out hans's picture next to the special bouquet the housekeeper made at our request, with tiny sweetheart roses in between honeysuckle and something exotic and tropical-looking. we lit the "2" candle and put it in our pie, then we sent our thoughts to hans and blew out his candle. we cried some, and i thought about how much i just wanted to hold him close. it was the first time i had looked at all of his pictures since milo was born.

today, in the pool, i lounged against the side, looking out at the ocean, and i was struck by the thought of hans jumping off that side and into my arms, laughing, wanting to do it over and over again.

milo brought me back to reality by having a colossal, wet poo in his stroller, which i first mistook for prune spit-up when i saw it on his toy key ring. not until it was all over his legs, and between his fingers, and deep in the grooves of his seatbelt did justin return from our rental house and discover that it was full on fecalmania. we ended up throwing away a little, inexpensive flannel blanket i had brought along as extra coverage for him, and about a million wet wipes, but we got him and the stroller cleaned up in extraordinary fashion in almost no time at all. we deserve parenting medals. we could teach classes in it, we were so good.

while we're grateful for the free wi-fi at the beach club, the connection isn't constant enough to upload any pictures, so those will have to wait until we get home.