and now, a restaurant review

yesterday i kept my promise to lay low (mostly). we slept in, ate a few fruity pebbles, burned cds and read shelter magazines. randy got home at lunch time and took us to a good little taco place, and we stopped by jenny's work, where she tightened up our glasses and let us try on the avant garde frames - the ones they keep locked up. i got justin to try on some ferragamo sunglasses with gigantic red, white and blue bejeweled quetzals on either side, a la elton john circa 1973 or so. i've got to figure out how to get the picture posted here.

when we got back home we settled on to the balcony to better enjoy the breezes off the bay, and then the most surprising thing happened. randy started telling us about the rape of someone we know and to whom he is very close. for us to have had this conversation before would have been unthinkable. however shocking or uncomfortable it was for r&j to hear us talk about hans, i think it pierced something. last night the four of us went to millennium for dinner (more on that in a moment), and it was so relaxed and happy and we all talked freely and any passing references we made to johannes or his death or my pregnancy were just natural.

i'm reminded this morning of something david hansen told us; to paraphrase him, it's not that johannes died for a reason, but you'll be surprised to find things happening as a result of johannes's death that never would have happened otherwise. i'm botching that one - let me blame it on the benadryl. but i'm beginning to see some truth in what he said. i think our conversation on the balcony and the change in the air last night are things that wouldn't have happened before johannes's death. interesting.

a word about millennium: wow. it's a completely vegan restaurant, but even a flexitarian like me could give up meat completely if i could eat there every day. we drank ladybug red and started with a raw spring lasagnette and a sauteed mushroom bruschetta with sundried tomato butter that made my toes curl with happiness. my entree was a perfectly-baked phyllo purse stuffed with all kinds of exotic mushrooms and white beans and all kinds of other things i can't even remember, the thought of it makes my brain so fuzzy. it came with what the server called an english cream - i have no idea what that name means, but it was this wonderfully creamy green sauce that tasted like it was based on the fat of good english bacon; good lord, it was insane. justin had pecan-crusted portabellos over wilted greens that really and truly tasted like a top-notch argentinean tenderloin. jenny had an orechiette gratin with stinging nettles and kale that was supremely comfort food-y, and randy had a perfect risotto that starred soy chorizo that was out of sight. dessert was so good that it required the kind of savoring that made that course take as long as the entree course - maybe longer. we had a chocolate almond cheesecake-y sort of dessert that was unbelievably smooth, and a pear strudel with cinnamon/vanilla bean sorbet that was beyond anything i had ever tasted, a sorbet sampler (kiwi-coconut, blood orange and chocolate chip cookie dough - incredible), and a plate of truffles (dark chocolate and mint), tiny oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies, and blood orange slices. honestly, it may be the best meal i have ever had. afterwards we drove to north beach and walked around little italy and found a tiny corner cafe for port and espresso and we closed the place down.

i find it bittersweet to think that johannes will never enjoy such a perfect meal, but i feel this morning like going out and living so in the moment and just continuing to live and to breathe and to keep putting one foot in front of the other and to keep talking about him is a pretty good way to honor him.