according to miss a-grrrrrrrr-lera
i was reading in "rolling stone" the other day where christina aguilera compared the making of her new album to "being pregnant for 18 months," to which i say, how would you know? unless she's been hiding it, miss aguilera wouldn't know diddly about being pregnant, much less being pregnant for that long.
if she wants to know what 18 months of pregnancy is like, she should ask me; i'm rolling up on that number. otherwise, her options are: (a) finding another analogy about which she can speak knowledgably, or (b) shutting her trap.
the former mouseketeer's comment (which i'm sure was not meant to insult me) feeds into my pet peeve of younger women with their easy-breezy-beautiful attitude about reproduction. i fully acknowledge that this peeve stems partly from my jealousy of the statistically easier time they'll have of it if they start reproducing in the near future, but it doesn't make their general attitude peeve me any less.
there are the young women in my office who discuss planned, elective c-sections so they can control the bikini-readiness of their scars and not deal with oh-so-icky matters of the hoo-ha (which would mean they're all going to conceive via immaculate conception, i suppose?). then there's my sister-in-law, a sweet 21-year-old who was at the hospital when i delivered hans and knows first-hand what can happen but is not fazed in the least. i suppose i should be grateful that our losses haven't imposed any anxiety on her pregnancy, but what kind of person experiences a loss that close to her and then doesn't even consider her own chances of loss? how can anyone be that oblivious? does she think she's supergirl or something?
my dirty little secret compensation: pregnancy is overwhelming her tiny frame, and while her very large bump is cute, her face has widened considerably, particularly her once-pert little nose. i am a hateful person, but it consoles me nonetheless. i guess the benefit of being old and fat is that pregnancy doesn't have much room to change one's appearance. so there. ha.
if she wants to know what 18 months of pregnancy is like, she should ask me; i'm rolling up on that number. otherwise, her options are: (a) finding another analogy about which she can speak knowledgably, or (b) shutting her trap.
the former mouseketeer's comment (which i'm sure was not meant to insult me) feeds into my pet peeve of younger women with their easy-breezy-beautiful attitude about reproduction. i fully acknowledge that this peeve stems partly from my jealousy of the statistically easier time they'll have of it if they start reproducing in the near future, but it doesn't make their general attitude peeve me any less.
there are the young women in my office who discuss planned, elective c-sections so they can control the bikini-readiness of their scars and not deal with oh-so-icky matters of the hoo-ha (which would mean they're all going to conceive via immaculate conception, i suppose?). then there's my sister-in-law, a sweet 21-year-old who was at the hospital when i delivered hans and knows first-hand what can happen but is not fazed in the least. i suppose i should be grateful that our losses haven't imposed any anxiety on her pregnancy, but what kind of person experiences a loss that close to her and then doesn't even consider her own chances of loss? how can anyone be that oblivious? does she think she's supergirl or something?
my dirty little secret compensation: pregnancy is overwhelming her tiny frame, and while her very large bump is cute, her face has widened considerably, particularly her once-pert little nose. i am a hateful person, but it consoles me nonetheless. i guess the benefit of being old and fat is that pregnancy doesn't have much room to change one's appearance. so there. ha.
posted by laura at 8:30 AM
9 Comments:
What a dipshit she is. And don't feel bad...I look at Britney's post-baby body and I just laaaaugh. Man I am a bitch.
It can't happen to me. Nobody thinks it can happen to them.
And I think you look great!
i was out with a friend of my sister's at a women's social event. she was the only one without kids, 2 women there were pregnant with their 3rd and she gamely engaged in discussions about what to name them, etc... only my sister and i knew that she just suffered her 2nd loss at 22 weeks and is now being told to look into surrogacy.
so i get what you're saying, of course, but it is possible that your cousin knows quite well what can happen and is terrified but doesn't talk about it. i guess what i'm saying is that i always assumed no one else had issues, but a shocking number of people do, or know someone who has and life isn't as hunky dory as it seems.
I remember when I was horrified at the thought of an episiotomy. Now they can cut through my forehead, I don't care.
in all fairness, laura, j&s have not only lost hans, but she has lost her very own sister. true, it was before her own birth, but seeing as they are naming their child after her dead sister, i would say that it's quite obvious that they think about what could of, would have, been... not to mention my bros own issues with his own loss.
i'd say cut them some slack - but really, this isn't about them, is it?
no, it's not about them. as i said, it's largely about my own jealousy of how much easier it is generally for younger women. i wish them no harm or grief.
You are too, too, funny.
I suppose, at 26 (almost 27, mind you), I would fall into the category of younger women you speak of.
HOWEVER.
I know all too well what can happen, from beginning to end. And I know I am not exempt. Last month when I found out I WASN'T pregnant I wasn't expecting the strange sense of relief that washed over me.
I believe we are kindreds in that respect.
I, too, am jealous of the naivete. It will never again be mine.
Crap... Somedays I wish a little grief on the giddy happy innocent preggos. And then i feel guilty, of course. Cause I couldn't let myself just enjoy the bitterness... :)
Sounds like you are having some glimpses of better mental health, which is great.
And your trip looks amazing! Maybe it i had eaten more than a late breakfast today I wouldn't be drooling quite as much.
I wonder if it's possible to have a naive pregnancy once you have had a successful one, or do you never forget? (not counting of course, if you've had losses in between).
Will I be able to take a second pregnancy for granted (if it happens...someday...)?
But then I was terrified the first time before I'd even had a loss.
I think the more intelligent you are, the more you comprehend that not every pregnancy is a (perfect) baby.
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