on a more serious note...
let me leave the juvenile snickering aside for a few minutes to talk about this post on broadsheet, the "womanist" blog on salon. if you don't subscribe to salon (and if you don't, why not?), you can still access salon by clicking the link and then watching a 60-second commercial, which will then give you a day pass to the post as well as to all their material.
the post is about the movement to issue stillbirth certificates for stillborn babies. the writer (the blog is maintained by mostly female staff writers for salon) acknowledges the comfort such certificates would give some parents but worries about anti-choice politicians jumping on the bandwagon to add weight to their cause.
after reading the post, there are comments to be read (or you can click here to read them). some are thoughtful, some are as hateful as you'd expect, many are just the product of not having experienced it and not getting what the fuss is all about. i commented (as lauralu) because i care about this issue, and then i commented again to correct the misperceptions of some other commenters because hundreds of people who aren't commenting are still reading, and it's a chance to spread some understanding around. (the human ex-lax rides again!)
if you're interested enough in the topic to read the post and the comments, i'd like to hear your thoughts. hey, maybe we can actually, like, you know, discuss it.
the post is about the movement to issue stillbirth certificates for stillborn babies. the writer (the blog is maintained by mostly female staff writers for salon) acknowledges the comfort such certificates would give some parents but worries about anti-choice politicians jumping on the bandwagon to add weight to their cause.
after reading the post, there are comments to be read (or you can click here to read them). some are thoughtful, some are as hateful as you'd expect, many are just the product of not having experienced it and not getting what the fuss is all about. i commented (as lauralu) because i care about this issue, and then i commented again to correct the misperceptions of some other commenters because hundreds of people who aren't commenting are still reading, and it's a chance to spread some understanding around. (the human ex-lax rides again!)
if you're interested enough in the topic to read the post and the comments, i'd like to hear your thoughts. hey, maybe we can actually, like, you know, discuss it.
posted by laura at 5:27 PM
5 Comments:
Thank you for your passion. Let me wade through the commentary and I will certainly add my two cents...
I don't like to be used by any cause. I WANTED a stillbirth certificate for my son. I'm sorry if that upsets some sensitive political platform...but I'm not going to live my life in fear of that. There are a zillion and one reasons to do something in this life...and there are a zillion and one reasons NOT to do the very same thing...no matter what it is. I guess I'm just not socially conscious...because I don't want to think beyond what is best for ME for a while. Maybe if my son wasn't dead I'd feel differently. But sometimes, the greater good just has to take care of itself while I lick my wounds.
(How's that for a big ole f--- you to the world? I figure it's fair, since that's pretty much what I've gotten since Alex died.)
I wish I knew how to address these people but they seem so completely out of the loop that I cannot think of a way that will reach them.
I'm thinking something along the lines of babies who would have had a chance of life at the gestation they were born if they had not been born with their own health problems but rather through the failings of the mother's body should be recognised as individuals - ie the 20 week cut off. But then a 16 or 17 week fetus comes out looking like a baby and is certainly regarded as a baby by most parents, but would have had no chance of living even with intervention.
So as you can see I am horribly confused about how to express a really airtight logical arguement in support of state recognition of the baby's existence. I don't understand how people can completely remove the emotional attachment a parent feels towards their baby particularly as the pregnancy progresses.
I have really expressed myself poorly and in the end I feel incredibly disillusioned at the harshness and lack of compassion of people in the general population.
But Laura, well said, and I believe you have done some good in your responses to these less than informed people.
Thanks Laura for posting this! I will of course have to go and jump right into the fray....
Laura- thank you!
www.missingangelsbill.org
We're fighting the good fight. After all, this is the ultimate woman's issue. Last I checked, men don't give birth to dead babies...
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