better than castor oil
i couldn't help but notice that many of you are pushing for me to, ahem, get busy with bringing on labor, which makes me wonder: has justin been paying you all off? because he is the only person in our house currently desiring wild donkey sex. i, on the other hand, with the tectonic plate shifts in my underwear, feel like i have already engaged in punishing sex with eight burly men in a row; when i described my pelvic discomfort in that manner to justin, he curiously asked if i had any experience with that scenario. how could i not love this man???
you bloggers are not the only ones convinced i can hump my way to an earlier delivery. yesterday two different co-workers felt the need to pull me aside and extol the merits of nookie to get things going. and this article came out this week, as if i needed further reminding. sheesh. i get the message. but it's easier said than done. it's hard to get your freak on while concentrating on limiting your painful grimaces. unless you're a pain fetishist, in which case, you're on your own.
it did occur to me that if the key to labor-inducing sex is to get the goo and the hoo-ha in touch with each other, then there are other ways to get'er done, namely involving a cup and a turkey baster. of course, we don't have a turkey baster in our vegetarian kitchen, but maybe we should get one. we do have to stop at the grocery store tonight; i'm sure they have one on the gadgets aisle. something to consider...
*****
also in the category of things justin says that remind me of why he is the love of my life: we were discussing potential improvements to our home when he suggested a picket-y fence around the front of our house. i squinched up my nose and asked him if that wasn't going a little too far. wasn't that a little too all-american-y for us? he patiently explained that we already were the all-american family; afterall, we do have 2.2 children.
i could never love anyone the way i love him.
you bloggers are not the only ones convinced i can hump my way to an earlier delivery. yesterday two different co-workers felt the need to pull me aside and extol the merits of nookie to get things going. and this article came out this week, as if i needed further reminding. sheesh. i get the message. but it's easier said than done. it's hard to get your freak on while concentrating on limiting your painful grimaces. unless you're a pain fetishist, in which case, you're on your own.
it did occur to me that if the key to labor-inducing sex is to get the goo and the hoo-ha in touch with each other, then there are other ways to get'er done, namely involving a cup and a turkey baster. of course, we don't have a turkey baster in our vegetarian kitchen, but maybe we should get one. we do have to stop at the grocery store tonight; i'm sure they have one on the gadgets aisle. something to consider...
*****
also in the category of things justin says that remind me of why he is the love of my life: we were discussing potential improvements to our home when he suggested a picket-y fence around the front of our house. i squinched up my nose and asked him if that wasn't going a little too far. wasn't that a little too all-american-y for us? he patiently explained that we already were the all-american family; afterall, we do have 2.2 children.
i could never love anyone the way i love him.
posted by laura at 6:35 PM
12 Comments:
sorry, sorry. it's so unlike me, too!
Nookie didn't work for me...either time I delivered. Not even close. What did it for me was pitocin...but it sounds like you're making a lot more progress than I did.
If I were you, I'd just sleep. A lot. You'll have sex again eventually...but you won't sleep again for a while.
Wait...I just read a different survey that said the opposite!
http://www.kfmb.com/story.php?id=56194
But at least it's funny reading the pros and cons of your sex life. Thanks for the giggle.
And 2.2 kids...now THAT's funny!
mmm, ok, nookie sounds like a suggestion you'd rather forget about for now. sorry Justin for getting your hopes up. I have heard and read that yes it is all about the goo and the hoo-ha meeting. but me, personally, would prefer to the deed. I think the turkey baster idea is very resourceful though. very lateral. (and I wouldn't swallow castor oil either).
Oh, you're supposed to swallow the castor oil!?! I wasn't exactly sure what in the world you were supposed to do with it.
Atleast it's not cod liver oil.
Ok, I know I haven't been commenting, but I'm ROTFLMAO about donkey sex and castor oil. Also turkey basters (which had previously only entered my conversation when I was talking to a lesbian friend of mine who'd recently gotten pregnant via "home IVF"... so suffice it to say that I was CRACKING UP at the notion of you going to any sort of town with said baster as a result. (yes, I've had a few drinks, making this all the more amusing, but hey, sometimes it's good to be amused, eh??)
And hooray for picket fences. for no other reason than they're so ANTI me that they must be good!! :) (yeah, I'm a goof tonight...)
LOL! I will tell you in my personal experience, nookie to start labor only works about half of the time...
I like kathy's advice about the sleep...especially now that we will have a few cool nights (well, where we are, i am hoping it is the same for you!)
I was considering the goo in a turkey baster option myself, considering that the other option is the last thing I feel like doing at the moment. This baby is not making any moves southward whatsoever...
that earlier post was supposed to say "...me personally would prefer to DO the deed". anyway, just following up on Justins comment about Castor oil. swallowing lots of it will cause bad Diarrhea. which will make for an unplesant labour if that came on at the same time. castor oil is good for constipation. and it tastes revolting. I think it's one to AVOID.
I got to 43 weeks eating curry and having wild donkey sex. Not to mention waddling down to the local park to go for a whizz on the flying fox. And so began my lifelong association with surgical delivery;)
I say sleep. Sex is something you'll always be able to get should you want it. Sleep, on the other hand, more precious than gold...zzzzzzzzzzzz ;D
Yeah... Sex didn't work for me... But I could only muster the energy to do it once after my due date.
And I think there is supposed to also be some advantage to the "jostling"... not just the goo.
So I'd vote for sleep too. Much more appealing at the end of pregnancy.
It doesn't have to be wild donkey sex, just any old sex will do. Sleeping is good too,
I can't picture your place with a picket fence, but you are my vision of the perfect American family - 2.2 children notwithstanding. Don't you need a dog to really hit the mark though? And a mini van? A statiuon wagon is so passe!
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