no respecter of persons
stillbirth strikes again, strangely close to home for us. [pardon my numbered spelling, but i don't wish to attract unwanted attention here.] 2ydruna5 1lgauska5, the center for the cl3v3land cavali3rs, our favorite player, and the inspiration for calling milo "little z", went missing for four games due to a family emergency. we knew his wife, j3nnif3r, was pregnant, with twins, and we've held our breath, hoping that it wasn't a pregnancy problem. big z was back today, and early in the game the reporter on the floor announced that z had told her earlier today that his wife had gone into premature labor and delivered stillborn twins. the worst, confirmed. fuck.
if you've followed this blog, you know that when milo was the little zygote, we shortened it to "little z" because it wasn't quite so clinical/cynical and to honor our beloved center. throughout the horrible anxiety of that pregnancy, whenever big z would score or do something fantastic, we would take it as a sign for milo's success, too. z was our lucky charm. and now he knows the same horror. not so lucky any more.
i'm unbearably sad.
justin and i have discussed reaching out. we don't want to be weird stalker fans, but this isn't about some celebrity fantasy. we actually see then out from time to time, in our neighborhood brew pub, although we've never approached them out of respect for their privacy. but no matter who you are, being stillborn parents is to be part of a small and mostly lonely club. so i think we're going to write them a note tonight, to let them know how sorry we are, and to thank z for being our own ray of hope. i don't know what else to do, or what else i can do, without being weird.
if you've followed this blog, you know that when milo was the little zygote, we shortened it to "little z" because it wasn't quite so clinical/cynical and to honor our beloved center. throughout the horrible anxiety of that pregnancy, whenever big z would score or do something fantastic, we would take it as a sign for milo's success, too. z was our lucky charm. and now he knows the same horror. not so lucky any more.
i'm unbearably sad.
justin and i have discussed reaching out. we don't want to be weird stalker fans, but this isn't about some celebrity fantasy. we actually see then out from time to time, in our neighborhood brew pub, although we've never approached them out of respect for their privacy. but no matter who you are, being stillborn parents is to be part of a small and mostly lonely club. so i think we're going to write them a note tonight, to let them know how sorry we are, and to thank z for being our own ray of hope. i don't know what else to do, or what else i can do, without being weird.
posted by laura at 6:08 PM
6 Comments:
oh F***!
(I don't know how else to express how I'm feeling except to swear, sometimes)
I think you *should* reach out. Just let him know you're thinking about him and let him know he's not alone. I'm 100% sure how he'll receive it. you never know... heck within this small and lonely club we all deal with our loss differently. But on the off chance that your note makes him feel even slightly better... then you should send it.
Also - how the heck was he back at work? Playing at NBA level after only one week (or so)? He is a stronger man than I. I'd have had tears streaming down my face at every whistle. I went back after about a month and I still cried any time I wasn't in the middle of something. (not making light... being 100% serious)
dbp
It's been killing me. I hate this <-- non intentional use of a most appropriate quote from a friend.
With the allstar break, it's probably been closer to two weeks - but still. Wow. How incredibly difficult it has had to have been for him. And now playing. I'm not sure that I could have done it, hopefully the concentration and physical play were good for him to channel some energy.
I know it was all enough to get me running again.
I am sorry...i do think it is not wierd at all to reach out. It is a very lonely club, especially at first. You can send a list of resources (online etc.) in your note too. I wouldn't do more than that, but sometimes i do send these lists and have gotten positive feedback from that.
I think if you can find a way to reach out that is comfortable for you, you should.
What a horrible, horrible loss.
To ask the obvious question...why? Like you said, it just goes to show that it doesn't matter who or what you are, bad things can happen.
I would agree that you should reach out, and not as a fan, but as another set of parents that has been down that lonely road. Offering up how much hope he provided while Milo was in the works may help-that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It has nothing to do with stardom, but rather just being human.
I think reaching out is a good idea. (((hugs)))
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