the after-beach feeling; also, tofu and anxiety
despite the sunscreen i put on this morning (and every day) my face is pink and tight. we rode our bikes to dempsey's in tremont to meet david for lunch; after, we rode around tremont and back home and then worked in the yard until about 30 minutes ago, and i got way too much sun on my face, and a little on my neck and arms and legs. i've had a shower now, and exfoliated, and lotioned up, and i have that good, clean, healthy feeling i always get after cleaning up after a day at the beach. (never mind that there's nothing healthy about getting sun-burned, or that i haven't spent a day at the beach in years; still...)
lunch was good; as the fellow parent of a dead son. i feel like i can be pretty frank with david and not shock him. we actually kind of joked about mummies and other death culture; as much as they love us and grieve our son, too, and are comfortable talking about johannes, none of our other friends or family can handle us joking about him or death-related topics. we did actually talk about a few things other than our dead children this time, confirming my suspicion that he is the sort of person with whom i would want to be friends, even if we didn't share the dead baby thing.
we only got the four beds in the front of the house cleaned up before we got worn out, but i must say, we look quite respectable from the street. justin hosed down the porch and the railings and the steps, and he got our blue adirondack chairs up from the basement and on to the porch, and i got them cleaned up, so we can officially become porch-sitters again.
justin has cooked tonight - he did quite a lovely job marinating some tofu, and the brown jasmine rice smells so freaking good: like popcorn, only better tasting. we're pretty much at peace tonight, although i feel some nagging anxiety, and i get the impression justin is feeling some anxiety, too. what's getting under my skin is: (1) knowing that we'll get the autopsy results tomorrow, and they may be horrible, or they may be inconclusive - i'm not sure which would be worse; and (2) i have to go back to work thursday, and i just don't feel like dealing with my co-workers. i've realized that i don't care enough about them to put the energy into talking with them. i've really got to start looking for a transfer.
lunch was good; as the fellow parent of a dead son. i feel like i can be pretty frank with david and not shock him. we actually kind of joked about mummies and other death culture; as much as they love us and grieve our son, too, and are comfortable talking about johannes, none of our other friends or family can handle us joking about him or death-related topics. we did actually talk about a few things other than our dead children this time, confirming my suspicion that he is the sort of person with whom i would want to be friends, even if we didn't share the dead baby thing.
we only got the four beds in the front of the house cleaned up before we got worn out, but i must say, we look quite respectable from the street. justin hosed down the porch and the railings and the steps, and he got our blue adirondack chairs up from the basement and on to the porch, and i got them cleaned up, so we can officially become porch-sitters again.
justin has cooked tonight - he did quite a lovely job marinating some tofu, and the brown jasmine rice smells so freaking good: like popcorn, only better tasting. we're pretty much at peace tonight, although i feel some nagging anxiety, and i get the impression justin is feeling some anxiety, too. what's getting under my skin is: (1) knowing that we'll get the autopsy results tomorrow, and they may be horrible, or they may be inconclusive - i'm not sure which would be worse; and (2) i have to go back to work thursday, and i just don't feel like dealing with my co-workers. i've realized that i don't care enough about them to put the energy into talking with them. i've really got to start looking for a transfer.
posted by laura at 7:54 PM
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