a correction, a concert review, and other things: the hyperlink edition
correction: on thursday i reported the blooming of certain purple, white and yellow tulips around our house; in fact, the blooms are crocuses, and this misperception only confirms i have much to learn about all of the plants i've inherited.
yesterday just flat out sucked. we slept 13 hours, ate greasy, over-onioned crap at sokolowski's (it was my first visit to the legendary cafeteria - what a disappointment), visited calvin's brick at cleveland public theatre (which i had not yet seen), made a little nookie (okay, that part didn't suck), slept a couple of more hours, screamed and yelled at each other, ate sushi at kimo's, spilled coffee (twice) at the new cafe metro joe's (in the location of the former cafe noir), watched some lame tv, fooled around a little then stopped abruptly when i started thinking about johannes, laid awake for hours in the dark thinking about my doctor's appointment this week among other johannes-related things, read entertainment weekly from 4 to 6 am, and then finally went to sleep. i also cried all day yesterday, but it wasn't any single event to document individually; i was just a faucet all day. i would prefer not to have any more days like yesterday.
today, despite the ridiculous blizzard that blew all day, was much better. we ate scrambled egg sandwiches and gave each other manicures and pedicures and pumpkin facials and were generally much kinder to each other. justin discovered that the futureheads (aka johannes's favorite band) are coming to the grop shop in june and we bought our tickets! we went to the red {an orchestra} concert after dinner at siam, and i am so glad we went.
the first half of the show was bartok's "music for strings, piano and celesta", which was okay but dated. bartok hasn't really stood the test of time for me, so it wasn't a very effective piece to get all innovative on. i was intrigued, though, by the celesta player, a curly-haired, red-cheeked young man that made me think about our dreams for hans. we both, separately, thought of hans as a musician and thought he might be a violinist or pianist; watching the first half of the concert, all i could think about was what it might have been like as hans's parents to be in the audience when he performed with an orchestra. that was my only significant tear-shedding of the day.
ethel, an electric string quarter from new york, played with the orchestra in the second half. the first piece, julia wolfe's "early that summer" was classical gone to metal heaven. the performance of that piece alone made going out in the crappy weather worthwhile. the second piece, phil kline's "meditations in an emergency" (a premiere) was nourishing and soothing and joyous at the same time; the program notes mention frank o'hara's poem which says, "each time my heart is broken i feel more adventurous." the music was a perfect backdrop against which to think about that line, which really struck a chord with me. i lead a pretty charmed life, but there have been a few tragedies, and in the aftermath i have always been freed to go a new direction. i feel, for one thing, that my relationship with justin is going to new places to which we wouldn't necessarily have gone without johannes's death. i certainly don't think johannes died for some life-enriching purpose for us - his death was just a horrible accident - but i am comforted by the new facets of our relationship, and i also feel like some other changes are coming in my life. don't know what they may be yet, but tonight was an opportunity to chew on the prospects a little.
the last piece, john king's "ethos" (also a premiere), was so new york, and it made me want to play music again (i am a long-lapsed pianist and cellist and sometime-chorister), although the ending was (i thought) a let-down. but overall i found ethel to be a band i would gladly jump on a plane to go see somewhere else. we finished the night at metro joe's again, but this time we managed to spill neither coffee nor tears.
will there ever be a time when i will have control over if and when i cry about johannes?
yesterday just flat out sucked. we slept 13 hours, ate greasy, over-onioned crap at sokolowski's (it was my first visit to the legendary cafeteria - what a disappointment), visited calvin's brick at cleveland public theatre (which i had not yet seen), made a little nookie (okay, that part didn't suck), slept a couple of more hours, screamed and yelled at each other, ate sushi at kimo's, spilled coffee (twice) at the new cafe metro joe's (in the location of the former cafe noir), watched some lame tv, fooled around a little then stopped abruptly when i started thinking about johannes, laid awake for hours in the dark thinking about my doctor's appointment this week among other johannes-related things, read entertainment weekly from 4 to 6 am, and then finally went to sleep. i also cried all day yesterday, but it wasn't any single event to document individually; i was just a faucet all day. i would prefer not to have any more days like yesterday.
today, despite the ridiculous blizzard that blew all day, was much better. we ate scrambled egg sandwiches and gave each other manicures and pedicures and pumpkin facials and were generally much kinder to each other. justin discovered that the futureheads (aka johannes's favorite band) are coming to the grop shop in june and we bought our tickets! we went to the red {an orchestra} concert after dinner at siam, and i am so glad we went.
the first half of the show was bartok's "music for strings, piano and celesta", which was okay but dated. bartok hasn't really stood the test of time for me, so it wasn't a very effective piece to get all innovative on. i was intrigued, though, by the celesta player, a curly-haired, red-cheeked young man that made me think about our dreams for hans. we both, separately, thought of hans as a musician and thought he might be a violinist or pianist; watching the first half of the concert, all i could think about was what it might have been like as hans's parents to be in the audience when he performed with an orchestra. that was my only significant tear-shedding of the day.
ethel, an electric string quarter from new york, played with the orchestra in the second half. the first piece, julia wolfe's "early that summer" was classical gone to metal heaven. the performance of that piece alone made going out in the crappy weather worthwhile. the second piece, phil kline's "meditations in an emergency" (a premiere) was nourishing and soothing and joyous at the same time; the program notes mention frank o'hara's poem which says, "each time my heart is broken i feel more adventurous." the music was a perfect backdrop against which to think about that line, which really struck a chord with me. i lead a pretty charmed life, but there have been a few tragedies, and in the aftermath i have always been freed to go a new direction. i feel, for one thing, that my relationship with justin is going to new places to which we wouldn't necessarily have gone without johannes's death. i certainly don't think johannes died for some life-enriching purpose for us - his death was just a horrible accident - but i am comforted by the new facets of our relationship, and i also feel like some other changes are coming in my life. don't know what they may be yet, but tonight was an opportunity to chew on the prospects a little.
the last piece, john king's "ethos" (also a premiere), was so new york, and it made me want to play music again (i am a long-lapsed pianist and cellist and sometime-chorister), although the ending was (i thought) a let-down. but overall i found ethel to be a band i would gladly jump on a plane to go see somewhere else. we finished the night at metro joe's again, but this time we managed to spill neither coffee nor tears.
will there ever be a time when i will have control over if and when i cry about johannes?
posted by laura at 12:45 AM
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