Justin's Interview

Here we go, Lauras question in italics and my answers in bold. I had fun doing this, and look forward to reading everyone else's contribution.

you came up with the name of our blog, and I was so freaking jealous because I couldnt think of anything nearly as good for my blog so I begged you to share yours with me and because you are generous you agreed. Soo,Id like to know - do you think of Johanneses as a ghost, If so, please elaborate on that, please explain how you think of him in the here and now.

When I first started functioning outside of our 'bubble', after Johannes died, I found that every conversation was preoccupied with him. No, his named was never mentioned, and he was rarely even discussed, however, it was always seemingly on the mind of whomever I was speaking with. Regular conversation became stifled, as folks tried to grasp for conversation not baby related. It was as if an unspeakable being was following me around, everyone could sense him, but he couldn't be seen, sort of like a ghost.

I found the name 'Johannes Ghost' to be most appropriate. We were visibly grieving for something that we could see, but others could not. Not a physical son, but a collection of all of our hopes and dreams for him.


i originally suggested johannes as the name for our future son as kind of a desperate stab at finding a mutually-acceptable j-name to honor your family tradition and was surprised when you latched on to it, although not without trying to get me to consider jaromir, to which i can only say, wtf? when we started talking about possible names for our next child, you brought up isabella, which i found was the 11th most popular girls name (its moved up to 8th since then), and when i showed you that evidence, you recoiled in horror. so what is it with you and unique names?

Jaromir: spring peace. Isnt that quite a beautiful name? I am still not sure why you were so opposed to that. As for Johannes, its a beautiful name, unique to our time and place, while familiarly meaningful (we both have Johannes in our family tree) and most importantly, it afforded me an opportunity to fulfil a tradition that my father had passed on to me.

After we had settled on Johannes, Hans for short, it was only natural that Id choose Christian, in honor of a poet whos work Ive long cherished: Hans Christian Anderson. "Just living is not enough... One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower" HCA

A couple of years after I was born, Justin became a fairly popular name. I myself, thankfully, was never a 'shared Justin' in the classroom or on the ice rink, but I certainly would not want my child to share a common name with a handful of other children. I want to do my best to ensure that our children are unique, and that there is a unique story behind their moniker that, hopefully, someday, they can share with their friends and loved ones.


which of your friendships has most diminished in the aftermath of hans death? what friendship has grown the most? any surprises there?

I suppose that its been a few years in making, but I really do feel as far away from Jim as any two friends can be. Johannes death came just after Jens (Jims wife) mothers death, and they werent really around for any of the pregnancy or loss, so they werent in the best place to understand where we were in life and the joy, disappointment and heartbreak of it all.

I dont blame anyone, obviously, and I will forever have the fondest memories of them, but something certainly has changed, and we just dont 'click' as we once might have.

Not surprisingly, my bond with you, Laura, has grown most since Hans death. My connection with you was fairly apparent on our first meeting, but without getting too sentimental, it wasn until after we, together, painstakingly fostered, and then lost, something that meant so much - that I realized that in our reality, I will never be alone. Because of you, and because of Hans, Ive finally seen that my life is not an island, rather, our unique lives have become interconnected.

you miss creating music, so i have to ask you - why arent you making any? huh?

Its something that gets to me. Often. The time and energy with which I once put exclusively into music is no longer a priority in my life. Lifes gotten in the way of living, I suppose.

Someday, Ill get back to it. Really, I will.

as you know, i do not share your appreciation of graffiti. please explain what the deal is.

I understand that this is entirely a matter of personal ethics and aesthetic, but I myself find that the work, when executed with conscientiousness, can be quite beautiful and beneficial. A rare, unedited, commentary, in my opinion, that livens an otherwise abandoned or neglected place with a fresh coat of paint.

The Cleveland RTA Redline is a prime example of the sort of public art space that graffitti can provide and one that should be embraced. This is prime art, for uninterupted miles, seen by thousands of RTA riders on a daily basis. Id wager to say that this the largest public art collection in the Cleveland area. The city would benefit from championing it.