the weekly updates resumed
dear mother (or not):
because you publicly disclosed that we had failed to maintain our weekly updates to you regarding the progress of your now defunct product of conception, we are obligated to punish you. please be advised that the aforementioned, now defunct, product of conception would currently be the side of a large sweet potato (as is appropriate for the week of thanksgiving, no?), and that you would be experiencing an increase in appetite and perhaps the quickening. so there. take that.
our failure to consistently provide you with some or all previous updates does not preclude us from continuing to provide you with updates of your non-existent pregnancy at a future date, at random intervals, as we see fit or whenever you begin to feel your mood lighten.
sincerely,
the universe
because you publicly disclosed that we had failed to maintain our weekly updates to you regarding the progress of your now defunct product of conception, we are obligated to punish you. please be advised that the aforementioned, now defunct, product of conception would currently be the side of a large sweet potato (as is appropriate for the week of thanksgiving, no?), and that you would be experiencing an increase in appetite and perhaps the quickening. so there. take that.
our failure to consistently provide you with some or all previous updates does not preclude us from continuing to provide you with updates of your non-existent pregnancy at a future date, at random intervals, as we see fit or whenever you begin to feel your mood lighten.
sincerely,
the universe
posted by laura at 10:15 AM
6 Comments:
Crappy, that's the only word for it.
For a moment there I thought that was from the baby food people.
Oh, for God's sake. Morons. I'm sorry.
Fuck the universe - it all sucks. Grrrr:-|
no, not the baby food people - the baby c*nt*r people. dammit.
I know it's hard to go there and do it, but it IS possible to cancel those. I've done it twice now. (I won't be signing up again, no matter how much better my chances are, nope.)
If you want to know more, lemme know. Big internet hugs from one who's been there.
Post a Comment
<< Home