z's little red gift; also, back by popular demand, more bodily substances!
you will not believe the souvenir i already have of z. no, really. are you sitting down? i have a tiny, new, red stretchmark. is that absurd? at 11.5 weeks? yes, yes, of course, it is. but i'm sure that's what it is. i've been watching this thing all week, and i'm certain of it now more than ever.
i am prone to these marks, anyway, but it seems a little advanced, even for me, even for my overachieving fetus (hey, z's a fetus now! woohoo!).
i think it's because this pregnancy is different than the others. i was rounded on the low end of my torso with hans and to a certain extent with the tadpole. but this one is pushing up, up, up instead of out, causing my organs to go upward and my mid-torso to round out - hence the dinosaur egg profile. i thought the old wives' tale was that boys are carried high and girls low, but hans was definitely more low and this one appears to be going high. unless you take into account my hope for hans that he be a boy who likes girls' clothes, in which case he may have gone the girly route.
i may need to be more heavily medicated.
*****
i am sick of being controlled by bodily substances. between the vomit and the globular grossness still, still streaming from my lungs and sinuses, i have all i can handle. oh, no, says mother nature - let's heap a little more on.
anyone remember last fall's spectacular fecal incontinence fiasco? since then, when things have gotten a little, um, loose and juicy, the juice has tended to get a bit loose a bit before anything else, and before i can get to the little pregnant women's room. with this two-week cold crap i've had, i've had a tendency toward the loose-and-juicies, and i'm getting grossed out by my underwear. justin (aka the world's greatest husband) does a fabulous job with the laundry, so they all come back to me sparkling and crapless, but how sad is my life that i obsessively check my underwear to see if they've become poo-stained?
very sad indeed.
i am prone to these marks, anyway, but it seems a little advanced, even for me, even for my overachieving fetus (hey, z's a fetus now! woohoo!).
i think it's because this pregnancy is different than the others. i was rounded on the low end of my torso with hans and to a certain extent with the tadpole. but this one is pushing up, up, up instead of out, causing my organs to go upward and my mid-torso to round out - hence the dinosaur egg profile. i thought the old wives' tale was that boys are carried high and girls low, but hans was definitely more low and this one appears to be going high. unless you take into account my hope for hans that he be a boy who likes girls' clothes, in which case he may have gone the girly route.
i may need to be more heavily medicated.
*****
i am sick of being controlled by bodily substances. between the vomit and the globular grossness still, still streaming from my lungs and sinuses, i have all i can handle. oh, no, says mother nature - let's heap a little more on.
anyone remember last fall's spectacular fecal incontinence fiasco? since then, when things have gotten a little, um, loose and juicy, the juice has tended to get a bit loose a bit before anything else, and before i can get to the little pregnant women's room. with this two-week cold crap i've had, i've had a tendency toward the loose-and-juicies, and i'm getting grossed out by my underwear. justin (aka the world's greatest husband) does a fabulous job with the laundry, so they all come back to me sparkling and crapless, but how sad is my life that i obsessively check my underwear to see if they've become poo-stained?
very sad indeed.
posted by laura at 8:19 AM
3 Comments:
Sorry, but I couldn't help but giggle at the thought of you going through the laundry basket and checking your dirty underpants for stains! You do indeed have a great husband for taking care of all of that. Think how great he'll be with diapers!
Oh no - fecal incontinence is back!
Do kegels help with the pooping?
I'm sorry you're sick again. You deserve a pregnancy where you only poop when you choose to.
I am so thinking girl! :D
So sorry about the poops!!! That is very sucky (couldn't write crappy... :) But honestly, if you have to check the unders for the next 6 months of a healthy pregnancy it will still make me happy.
So, maybe your group in class should take "field trips" to other groups to get a little more diversity of opinion. :) I (and my husband who is a white man) laughed at the lack of a problem your group-mates saw with racial issues. Duh! I am white and work in a field that is not very diverse racially, but can still acknowledge that race is an issue! Maybe its partly a man thing.
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