and i'd like to thank the academy

sitting on my bedroom couch with the a/c blowing on me, freshly showered, newly bug-free (damn midges!), the night's insulin injection behind me and three lovely mini cinnamon donuts in my system, i have some clarity i haven't had in a few days. i have a number of things for which i can be thankful - or rather, a number of people. here is a short sample from the list:

1. justin, who continues to earn his "best husband ever in the history of the universe" crown by doing things like spending an extra half hour at the grocery store so he can read cereal boxes and salsa jars to figure out which ones have the least sugar. without being asked. and he sooo dislikes shopping.
2. catherine, who has prevented my public nakedness by sending me her maternity clothes (yes, they're fantastic - on deck tomorrow: the lavender blouse!)
3. all my fellow bloggers, who keep reading my whines and rants and support me anyway.

at the ballgame tonight, i was talking to a friend of a friend's fiancee (we were the only two chicks in the group) about social work (she's a social worker and wanted to know what i was most passionate about), and in telling her about my educational plans i found myself telling this stranger that despite the lack of local professional support, my husband and i had found a support group of people all over the world on the internet, and how that group had made such a difference for us.

it's true, you know. my mother loves me, and she sometimes has flashes of insight, but she doesn't understand much about me these days. i have good friends who support me and check up on me when i drop out from time to time and who mourned hans with me - but they do not really understand. it's my fellow bloggers-in-loss who understand the insanity, the doubt, the confusion, the petulance and childishness, the ecstacy and preciousness, and everything else that goes with this pregnancy. people who love me and whom i love but who have not been separated from the child they wanted more than anything in the world simply cannot provide the support i have here.

i am one lucky-ducky to have you all in my life. thanks for being you.