the gd gd good news/bad news edition
you would not believe me if i told you how long it took me to figure out that i had to tip the vial of insulin over so that the needle could actually come in contact with the fluid. (answer: too long. believe it.) look, i am not dumb. i was a national merit scholar. my iq would qualify me for mensa membership. but i had no idea. it was utterly ridiculous.
after much weeping and gnashing of teeth, i picked up the phone to page the on-call gd gd doc, but justin had the better idea of calling my mom, who would know what to do and would answer the phone rather than requiring me to page her and wait for her return call. she did know what to do, of course, bless her heart, and then it was nothing to do the injection. well, it was nothing physically; it hurt less than my practice injection in the gd gd clinic, and less than the finger prick i perform five times daily (thanks, folks, i'll be here all summer!). but it hurt me mentally. there are trackmarks on my psyche.
so yea for me, i did it anyway, but boo!, because it didn't work. my numbers this morning were as high as they are every other morning. of course. can i hear a big motherfucker? all together now.
also in the bad news bracket - i was pukier than ever this morning. i threw an all-new, bigger and better than ever puke-apalooza in the bathroom. i would do anything to ensure milo's safe arrival, but is it too much to ask that if the insulin is going to be so puke-tastic that it at least work? someone is not pulling their weight, and it's not me.
so more bad news - i am now even more depressed, more demoralized, more fearful of even more drastic measures and more certainly about to be permanently deported from happy shiny ob-for-insurance-holders land to gd gd clinicopolis.
i'm headed to jacobs field for a baseball game now and will execute my plan to self-medicate with mini-donuts at section 149. i'm parking at the west side market so i can walk from there to the field (1 mile) and back (another mile) to get my insulin cooking and have planned my overall food day to be able to afford the carbs and sugar. dammit, i deserve a few mini-donuts at this point. you do not want to be the person ahead of me in line for those donuts.
tomorrow at 8 am: what will probably be my last regular ob visit. i will miss him and even his ugly-ass multi-colored pastel topsiders.
after much weeping and gnashing of teeth, i picked up the phone to page the on-call gd gd doc, but justin had the better idea of calling my mom, who would know what to do and would answer the phone rather than requiring me to page her and wait for her return call. she did know what to do, of course, bless her heart, and then it was nothing to do the injection. well, it was nothing physically; it hurt less than my practice injection in the gd gd clinic, and less than the finger prick i perform five times daily (thanks, folks, i'll be here all summer!). but it hurt me mentally. there are trackmarks on my psyche.
so yea for me, i did it anyway, but boo!, because it didn't work. my numbers this morning were as high as they are every other morning. of course. can i hear a big motherfucker? all together now.
also in the bad news bracket - i was pukier than ever this morning. i threw an all-new, bigger and better than ever puke-apalooza in the bathroom. i would do anything to ensure milo's safe arrival, but is it too much to ask that if the insulin is going to be so puke-tastic that it at least work? someone is not pulling their weight, and it's not me.
so more bad news - i am now even more depressed, more demoralized, more fearful of even more drastic measures and more certainly about to be permanently deported from happy shiny ob-for-insurance-holders land to gd gd clinicopolis.
i'm headed to jacobs field for a baseball game now and will execute my plan to self-medicate with mini-donuts at section 149. i'm parking at the west side market so i can walk from there to the field (1 mile) and back (another mile) to get my insulin cooking and have planned my overall food day to be able to afford the carbs and sugar. dammit, i deserve a few mini-donuts at this point. you do not want to be the person ahead of me in line for those donuts.
tomorrow at 8 am: what will probably be my last regular ob visit. i will miss him and even his ugly-ass multi-colored pastel topsiders.
posted by laura at 4:51 PM
5 Comments:
Wow, this is just so frustrating! I can't imagine the whole gd gd thing, but I like the mini doughnut idea. Enjoy the game, let it be a true distraction for you.
I'm mailing you a parcel tomorrow, 1 thing for you and just and something for Milo.
You know, most of the peris here won't actually deliver and will keep them seeing their regular ob's for that reason. Maybe there's still hope to see the ugly shoes!
I'm so sorry. Just take it a minute at a time.
I meant to mention, when you inform them about your sugar still being high in the morning, ask them about Disposable Insulin Pens. They are so much easier to use - no vials needed. You just screw on the disposable needle, turn it to the number of units you need and inject. They hurt less, too. Ask for the smaller needles.
Hang in there. I know, easier said than done.
Well, for what it's worth, happy 30w0d.
Enjoy the game. I can say that now.
I hope the OB visit today goes better than expected!
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