monday morning quarterback

yesterday, i was certain my next post would be post-delivery, but here i am, still pregnant. i had a multitude of contractions yesterday, but every time i said, okay, i'm going to start tracking times, they stopped - only to start again a short while later. for the record, i did follow the prescription many of you have given for getting labor going (the method most favorable for justin) in a pain-free window yesterday, but apparently repeated applications are required. we also did much house-cleaning and stocking up on paper goods and granola bars - we are as ready as we can be, dammit.

this morning i am exhausted, as i woke up about a million times during the night, thinking that it would be time. my appointment this morning was standard: blood sugars good, milo's growth perfect, and my hoo-ha expanded to 4 cm and about 50% effaced. we discussed the chances of me going into labor before next monday's amnio (50-60%), the chances the amnio wouldn't give conclusive enough evidence of lung maturity to go ahead with the induction (20%), and the chances of me still having diabetes after the placents is delivered (<5%). and because it wouldn't be a dr's visit if i didn't cry at least a little, i got emotional when we discussed future pregnancies and advised the peri there wouldn't be any. it's not that i was crying because i wanted to get pregnant again - i am at peace with not doing this again - but the thought of the stress involved in going through another pregnancy was overwhelming, which when you think about it is a good sign that i've made the right decision.

i wish this monday was next monday. apparently, my mother-in-law does, too, because she thought the amnio and then likely induction was today, not next monday. i am beyond ready. it occurred to me while i was on the exam table this morning that if i don't go into labor before next monday, this could well be the longest week of our lives. crap.