i could run a marathon

okay, maybe a lap around a track. okay, maybe half a lap. the point is i have an insane amount of energy i need to expend. if i can't take a bike ride again saturday, i will go nuts. other than green tea today i have had no caffeine all week, and i haven't had a caffeine withdrawl headache. there is this crazy, insane adrenalin monster that's taken me over. maybe it's just a bad case of spring fever.

we saw "ten minutes from cleveland" tonight, which inspired me to laugh more and harder than i have in at least three months and probably longer. but i was keenly aware that i am a west-sider and not at all an eastsider, not from the play about cleveland itself but from the crowd attending the play. i felt like me, only on the first day of seventh grade, in a new city and a new school, when i was so out of place i ate my lunch in the bathroom. i've never felt the east/west divide in cleveland more than i did tonight. i'm still sorting it out. but i loved the play.

tomorrow we are having lunch with justin's dad, in from vermont, if we can find a place that serves both bland enough food for my father-in-law and veg-friendly food for justin. then i hope to administer more self-therapy by working in my garden and riding my bike, if it stops raining long enough. my mother wants to get some flowering plants for our garden in hans's memory and i need to figure out the right place and plants for the little memorial garden.

i'm disjointed and jumpy and discombobulated tonight. nothing is right.