and now, dancing pierogies

i saw these on my way to work yesterday. every pierogie should be this happy.

you'll notice i saw these on my way to work yesterday. today, i'm not going to work. we just got home from our consultation with the ob, and we're both taking the whole day off to contemplate what we discussed this morning, catch up on sleep, and go to the zoo tonight.

we talked about handling freakouts. my ob has always, always encouraged me to call him or come in any time (even when he's just talked to me the third time in a week), so i'm not worried about that kind of access, but i wanted to know if i could come in just to hear the heartbeat (answer: yes, of course) and if i could tell anyone who was rude to get out (i have the feeling that a certain nurse anesthetist is going to get a good talking-to after our chat today). he was also reassuring about my egg quality; dubious egg quality is not the kind of thing that causes hans's two-vessel chord, which seemed to be the cause of all the other problems he had, so yea for that.

one of my big questions was whether i should see him, or a peri, or both. the thing is, i already saw three of the peris regularly last time, especially when i was getting weekly monitoring, and i would see them again for much of the monitoring and testing. as to regular visits, the way their practice works, the peris only do consultations and don't have their own patients except for a few extreme cases that involve daily management. my ob was already regularly discussing my case with them last time and would be doing so again if there were any problems, but he did offer to schedule a consultation with a peri for me if i wanted. i think i'm okay, though. i'm operating on a philosophy of being prepared for anything but assuming nothing is wrong unless presented with evidence otherwise.

justin brought up my stopping the antidepressant cold turkey, so i explained why i did it to the doctor. he is comfortable with me taking it or not taking it, as i choose, until midway through a pregnancy. after that, it would have to be pretty dire for him to recommend it. i can live with that. i'm certainly open to going back on medication if my anxiety becomes so high as to affect my or my child's health, but short of that, i'd rather live without it right now.

why i should be uncomfortable saying "vagina" out loud to my ob at this point is a mystery, but i was. for crying out loud, i'm 35, i grew up with a mother who was a nurse (and a pretty pragmatic one, at that), and this person has at this point spent hours looking at my hoo-ha. at least i didn't say "down there" - that would be a disgrace from which i don't think i could recover.

the end result is that i feel much, much better after the visit, like a physical load has been lifted from my chest. i'll feel even better after we get past this month's ovulatory point and can quit using condoms. (i have a latex allergy, so the condoms we use are more like baggies, the kind that used to come with a cartoon alligator on the box, and they make baggie noises.) after that, whatever happens, happens. bring it on.