i want to be invisigirl; or, back to posts with bodily substances mentioned
i do not want to go back to work tomorrow. i'm bleeding more heavily than a normal period, and i'm tired of wearing giant urinary incontinence pads to try to avoid the inevitable manual scrubbing out of my underpants, and i definitely do not want to take this show on the road.
i don't think i've bought a purse in the last five years big enough to tote around more than one of these pads at a time; nowadays i buy purses with the word "envelope" or "roll" in the names, little bags meant for a cell phone, a lipstick, maybe a slim wallet and an applicator-less tampon. the only sizeable purses i have in my closet are big buckety things, giant showy coach things, without which i thought i could not possibly live back in 1997, back when i used to actually wear suits and heels. i'm not sure why i've kept them, except that i (or whatever gift-giver) parted with significant amounts of cash for them, and they're in perfect condition. it just occurred to me that i should put them on e-bay. somewhere in the world, someone wants those giant discontinued models that can actually hold something. hmmmmmm.
but besides the logistical factors, i do not want to go back to work because i do not want to deal with people. my closest co-workers will be fine - we'll talk about the miscarriage for the first hour i'm there and then we'll actually do some work - but i'm on a hey-how-ya-doin basis with about half of the thousand people in the building, and i will pass many of them in the hallways at some point this week. most of them will look down or away; a brave few will try to maintain eye contact but their faces will freeze from the effort.
at almost-36, i am experiencing an entirely new feeling - the desire to be invisible. i've never felt it before. damn. that's strange. 'cause boy, do i feel it now. i need to be able to cloak myself in invisibility, with a dimmer switch that allows me to slowly, imperceptibly, turn myself back on, as people gradually get reaccustomed to my presence and the news of my misfortune gets stale.
but since i don't have a cloaking device, all i can do is pick nondescript clothes for tomorrow. and to be able to do so, i need to get off the couch and do some laundry.
i don't think i've bought a purse in the last five years big enough to tote around more than one of these pads at a time; nowadays i buy purses with the word "envelope" or "roll" in the names, little bags meant for a cell phone, a lipstick, maybe a slim wallet and an applicator-less tampon. the only sizeable purses i have in my closet are big buckety things, giant showy coach things, without which i thought i could not possibly live back in 1997, back when i used to actually wear suits and heels. i'm not sure why i've kept them, except that i (or whatever gift-giver) parted with significant amounts of cash for them, and they're in perfect condition. it just occurred to me that i should put them on e-bay. somewhere in the world, someone wants those giant discontinued models that can actually hold something. hmmmmmm.
but besides the logistical factors, i do not want to go back to work because i do not want to deal with people. my closest co-workers will be fine - we'll talk about the miscarriage for the first hour i'm there and then we'll actually do some work - but i'm on a hey-how-ya-doin basis with about half of the thousand people in the building, and i will pass many of them in the hallways at some point this week. most of them will look down or away; a brave few will try to maintain eye contact but their faces will freeze from the effort.
at almost-36, i am experiencing an entirely new feeling - the desire to be invisible. i've never felt it before. damn. that's strange. 'cause boy, do i feel it now. i need to be able to cloak myself in invisibility, with a dimmer switch that allows me to slowly, imperceptibly, turn myself back on, as people gradually get reaccustomed to my presence and the news of my misfortune gets stale.
but since i don't have a cloaking device, all i can do is pick nondescript clothes for tomorrow. and to be able to do so, i need to get off the couch and do some laundry.
posted by laura at 4:50 PM
3 Comments:
Maybe some camo?
Good luck tomorrow, hoping it won't be torture.
That would definitely be a good talent to posess. Now you see me, now you don't.
Good luck tomorrow. Hopefully it won't be too bad. There are only 8 hours in the day right?
I hope tomorrow goes ok. Work sucks sometimes... or sometimes work people suck.
And I'm willing to go in on one of those invisibility suits if you find one.
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