more reasons to not watch tv

i don't know why i turned it on, except that i couldn't decide what cd to play, and i needed background noise while justin was at work.

• on "america's funniest home videos", there was a segment of people creatively telling their parents that they were pregnant. it made me kind of ill. when i got pregnant the first time, we waited until my mom came to visit, then we took both our moms to lunch and over curry and pad thai i casually asked them what they'd like their grandchild to call them. a few days later, for father's day, we gave justin's dad a mug that said "#1 grandpa". with the tadpole, we were more matter of fact telling them; there were no special stagings or attempts to surprise. if and when we conceive again, i can't imagine telling them with anything more than caution. i envy those people in those videos, innocently singing "happy birthday, dear grandpa," because i'm sure if they sent in their videos to a tv show, then their pregnancies did not end in loss.
• i watched the opening credits of "extreme makeover: home edition" and just that little segment made me cry. ugh. that show is shameless.
• while i was making dinner and cleaning up the kitchen, "grey's anatomy" was on, and sandra oh's character got rushed into surgery because of an ectopic pregnancy, plus there was a baby in the nicu that was supposed to be inoperable but then it gained strength for no good reason and got a second chance. too much to take.

i'm turning off the tv now that justin is home and we're going up to bed. tomorrow will be my first morning to get ready for work and not be pregnant. the thought makes me unbearably sad.