don't worry, be happy!
one of my co-workers e-mailed me a chain letter about choosing to be positive this morning. i call it a chain letter because it ends with "You have two choices now: 01. Delete this. 02. Forward it to the people you care about. You know the choice I made. " (i suppose you can't threaten people with the usual bad luck if they don't forward it to ten people in ten minutes in a message about choosing one's fate.) she only e-mailed it to me. it really, really pissed me off.
this co-worker is the motherly one, a grandmother, although she's only six years older than me. she was a daily support to me through the roller coaster of my first pregnancy, but towards the end she joined the chorus of people telling me to stop worrying, for which i hated her, until i came back from maternity leave and saw her tears and she told me how sorry she was. if i ever leave my job*, she is the person i will miss. because i love her, i didn't respond to the e-mail. i just deleted it. it makes me sad that she still doesn't "get it" but how can she? i hold the people i love to an impossible standard and resent them for not upholding it.
i think everyone who loves me should be required to read "the year of magical thinking" as a prerequisite to continuing to love me. if you switched the deceased from joan didion's husband to my son and her stories of her marriage to my stories of pregnancy, this book would be the one i would write if i could express myself so succinctly. i read some more of it while i was on the bus this morning, and it made me want to shout. i don't yet have a plan for how to get everyone around me to read it without hitting them over the head with it, but i'm working on it.
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* now that i've made peace with staying with the company until i have what is known in the medical community as a successful pregnancy outcome, in order to take advantage of the flexibility and relatively low stress my job allows me, i find i may be leaving my job involuntarily. the last director not intimidated by the competence of others was let go today, as was an utterly incompetent one, and two others were demoted to fill lower-ranking openings. our niche of the market is in a downturn. our investors are itchy. it's not a good day for job confidence.
this co-worker is the motherly one, a grandmother, although she's only six years older than me. she was a daily support to me through the roller coaster of my first pregnancy, but towards the end she joined the chorus of people telling me to stop worrying, for which i hated her, until i came back from maternity leave and saw her tears and she told me how sorry she was. if i ever leave my job*, she is the person i will miss. because i love her, i didn't respond to the e-mail. i just deleted it. it makes me sad that she still doesn't "get it" but how can she? i hold the people i love to an impossible standard and resent them for not upholding it.
i think everyone who loves me should be required to read "the year of magical thinking" as a prerequisite to continuing to love me. if you switched the deceased from joan didion's husband to my son and her stories of her marriage to my stories of pregnancy, this book would be the one i would write if i could express myself so succinctly. i read some more of it while i was on the bus this morning, and it made me want to shout. i don't yet have a plan for how to get everyone around me to read it without hitting them over the head with it, but i'm working on it.
*************
* now that i've made peace with staying with the company until i have what is known in the medical community as a successful pregnancy outcome, in order to take advantage of the flexibility and relatively low stress my job allows me, i find i may be leaving my job involuntarily. the last director not intimidated by the competence of others was let go today, as was an utterly incompetent one, and two others were demoted to fill lower-ranking openings. our niche of the market is in a downturn. our investors are itchy. it's not a good day for job confidence.
posted by laura at 3:47 PM
3 Comments:
'the last director not intimidated by the competence of others was let go today'
Yeah, I worked for him too. He was forced out. We still talk frequently after four years.
I'm sorry.
Yeah...it's easy...choose happiness. Click my heels together, forget I have a dead baby, plaster a smile on my face and voila! Insta-happiness. What a dumb ass.
Ditto what Catherine said. Ass.
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