2gether 4ever
it's amazing to me that after six years together, justin and i are still figuring out how to, well, be together.
justin picked me up from work friday and we drove to pittsburgh, to buy as many shelves as we could pack in our car at ikea and to have what are supposed to be pittsburgh's best pierogies. we spent two hours at ikea and ended up with entirely different shelves than the ones we set out to buy. that justin spent two hours shopping for anything was beyond my wildest dreams, but all of it - the negotiations in the store, negotiating the directions that didn't work because of construction and the utter lack of visibility because of rain, figuring out the delicate balance of assembling multi-layer shelves and how to load a tiny room - it all reinforced what different people we are, how differently our respective logic works. we now have a closet full of shelves and greater capacity for storage and organization than i had dared to hope, but i still understand him hardly at all.
sometimes i think i have him all figured out, how to convince him to do what i want, and just how long it takes, but every time i take such knowledge for granted, he proves to me that i don't know him at all. and maybe it's not a bad thing. i do want to know him, and completely, but if the knowledge comes easily, and quickly, then what? i hope to have another 50 or 60 years with him, and those could be some damn boring decades if there were no questions left.
so i'll take it all - the disagreements about how to arrange shelves (and the living room chairs, and the mixing bowls in the kitchen cupboards, not to mention how to make the bed or fold towels or underwear) and the colorful swearing that goes with it as well as the shared jubilation over finally getting a set of shelves put together or justin finally getting to feel one of our babies move - because they're all a part of us being together, and of the daily choice we make to do it.
*****
last night while we were watching the last episode of season two of the gilmour girls (rory kissed jess!), milo was jumping up and down so hard it made me wonder if he had a trampoline in there. i suppose it was hiccups, but his movements were so distinct and lasted so long that i had a feeling this was our chance for justin to get in on the action.
he never got to feel hans move. hans just never cooperated, and justin would tire of holding his hand to my belly and getting no response; he figured he'd feel him move plenty after he was born. after hans died, it was one of justin's biggest regrets.
the tadpole was gone before either of us had a chance to feel it. yesterday was the tadpole's due date, which is a little weird.
milo seems to be much stronger, much more active, than hans was at this point, but until last night, he hadn't cooperated when anyone else but me tried to make contact with him. i pulled justin's hand over and pushed the heel of it into the spot just below my belly button, and a few seconds later, milo pushed up against his hand under mine. justin grinned. i could suddenly imagine a future in which justin grins at every new development he gets to see milo make.
it's damn good for such a vision to not feel like just a fantasy.
justin picked me up from work friday and we drove to pittsburgh, to buy as many shelves as we could pack in our car at ikea and to have what are supposed to be pittsburgh's best pierogies. we spent two hours at ikea and ended up with entirely different shelves than the ones we set out to buy. that justin spent two hours shopping for anything was beyond my wildest dreams, but all of it - the negotiations in the store, negotiating the directions that didn't work because of construction and the utter lack of visibility because of rain, figuring out the delicate balance of assembling multi-layer shelves and how to load a tiny room - it all reinforced what different people we are, how differently our respective logic works. we now have a closet full of shelves and greater capacity for storage and organization than i had dared to hope, but i still understand him hardly at all.
sometimes i think i have him all figured out, how to convince him to do what i want, and just how long it takes, but every time i take such knowledge for granted, he proves to me that i don't know him at all. and maybe it's not a bad thing. i do want to know him, and completely, but if the knowledge comes easily, and quickly, then what? i hope to have another 50 or 60 years with him, and those could be some damn boring decades if there were no questions left.
so i'll take it all - the disagreements about how to arrange shelves (and the living room chairs, and the mixing bowls in the kitchen cupboards, not to mention how to make the bed or fold towels or underwear) and the colorful swearing that goes with it as well as the shared jubilation over finally getting a set of shelves put together or justin finally getting to feel one of our babies move - because they're all a part of us being together, and of the daily choice we make to do it.
*****
last night while we were watching the last episode of season two of the gilmour girls (rory kissed jess!), milo was jumping up and down so hard it made me wonder if he had a trampoline in there. i suppose it was hiccups, but his movements were so distinct and lasted so long that i had a feeling this was our chance for justin to get in on the action.
he never got to feel hans move. hans just never cooperated, and justin would tire of holding his hand to my belly and getting no response; he figured he'd feel him move plenty after he was born. after hans died, it was one of justin's biggest regrets.
the tadpole was gone before either of us had a chance to feel it. yesterday was the tadpole's due date, which is a little weird.
milo seems to be much stronger, much more active, than hans was at this point, but until last night, he hadn't cooperated when anyone else but me tried to make contact with him. i pulled justin's hand over and pushed the heel of it into the spot just below my belly button, and a few seconds later, milo pushed up against his hand under mine. justin grinned. i could suddenly imagine a future in which justin grins at every new development he gets to see milo make.
it's damn good for such a vision to not feel like just a fantasy.
posted by laura at 3:28 PM
6 Comments:
So glad Justin got to feel Milo!! That's wonderful...
:) Very glad to hear that Justin got to feel Milo!!!!
Ain't love grand? I really mean that. There's nothing like being with the right person through good and bad--choosing everyday to do so.
Yay to Justin feeling Milo kick. Here's to many more bonding moments for all three of you.
And Rory with Logan still? I had hoped she and Jess would rekindle the spark. At least they are both better than Dean!!
((((((hugs)))))) to you for the tadpole's due date.
And big smiles for Justin feeling Milo move!
Oh, and congrats on the new shelves...i have to get some too...i have TOO MUCH STUFF
Six years? Mere beginners!
I'm an artist and my husband's an engineer. We have disagreements over almost every project we do together, from cooking dinner to painting rooms. We never have the same MO. But somehow, we still work.
And, how nice that Justin finally got to share that in experience. That was very moving story.
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