good things for today
1. despite what this much-discussed article suggests OBs think, i have a really thoughtful, kind, engaged OB i can trust and who is sincere with me and takes my concerns seriously. maybe he's the exception, but boy, am i glad to have him.
2. deadbabymama and her husband are coming tomorrow. we're going to do a victory lap around cleveland this weekend celebrating her bun in the oven!
3. today i feel the first little tingles of something like anticipation for our next, yet-to-be-conceived child. i've been wanting another child, since about two seconds after i delivered hans, but until today it has been impossible for me to imagine being even a fraction as invested in another child as i was in hans. i felt the first of the tingles this morning when i was in the shower and justin walked in and said the perfect name if we have another son. or maybe it was because the fan was on me and i caught a chill. either way, it's THE name. i'm actually a tiny bit excited. woo-hoo!
*****
you know what really gets my goat? (you didn't know i had a goat, did you. i don't, but it would make for a good story, wouldn't it? "billy: goat in the city" - i should write that book. "what happens when you take a goat out of the country and plunk him in the funeral plot-sized yard of two young urbanites who really, when you get right down to it, are not meant to be animal custodians. billy loves their garden - he finds the stargazer lillies particularly tasty, much to his new owners' chagrin. hijinks ensue. at the end of the day, though, everyone learns a valuable lesson and shares a good-natured chuckle. and the goat talks. talking animals sell, don't they? and what is it with me going on about a goat story for a whole paragraph? maybe i've got goat on the brain after my exchange earlier this week with my favorite college radio dj, who played this really dumb song about a goat by the frogs on monday. i may need to make another visit to my therapist. if i start dreaming about goats, that's the last straw. do goats eat straw? never mind.)
no, really, what bothers me right now isn't being around children (we went to the zoo last night and there were zillions of them and they were lovely) - it's being around crappy parents. please pardon me while i get all judgmental. here's my list of crappy parents:
2. deadbabymama and her husband are coming tomorrow. we're going to do a victory lap around cleveland this weekend celebrating her bun in the oven!
3. today i feel the first little tingles of something like anticipation for our next, yet-to-be-conceived child. i've been wanting another child, since about two seconds after i delivered hans, but until today it has been impossible for me to imagine being even a fraction as invested in another child as i was in hans. i felt the first of the tingles this morning when i was in the shower and justin walked in and said the perfect name if we have another son. or maybe it was because the fan was on me and i caught a chill. either way, it's THE name. i'm actually a tiny bit excited. woo-hoo!
*****
you know what really gets my goat? (you didn't know i had a goat, did you. i don't, but it would make for a good story, wouldn't it? "billy: goat in the city" - i should write that book. "what happens when you take a goat out of the country and plunk him in the funeral plot-sized yard of two young urbanites who really, when you get right down to it, are not meant to be animal custodians. billy loves their garden - he finds the stargazer lillies particularly tasty, much to his new owners' chagrin. hijinks ensue. at the end of the day, though, everyone learns a valuable lesson and shares a good-natured chuckle. and the goat talks. talking animals sell, don't they? and what is it with me going on about a goat story for a whole paragraph? maybe i've got goat on the brain after my exchange earlier this week with my favorite college radio dj, who played this really dumb song about a goat by the frogs on monday. i may need to make another visit to my therapist. if i start dreaming about goats, that's the last straw. do goats eat straw? never mind.)
no, really, what bothers me right now isn't being around children (we went to the zoo last night and there were zillions of them and they were lovely) - it's being around crappy parents. please pardon me while i get all judgmental. here's my list of crappy parents:
- parents who are too young
- parents who yell at their kids
- especially parents who yell at their kids in public
- parents who have more kids than they can reasonably devote their attention to (sorry about the dangling participle)
- parents who are too immature to be the adult (this item is in addition to item #1, since immaturity is not restricted to too-young parents)
- parents who hit their kids (while i'm opposed to corporal punishment, i know there are people who believe in it, and i'm not trying to be disrespectful of their parenting choices; i do acknowledge that there is a difference between spanking a child out of love and spanking them in anger or out of frustration or just plain abuse. but i still don't like it.)
- parents who consider their kids their servants
give me some time and i'm sure i'll come up with some other categories of parents i despise. it's one of the few perks of losing a child - i get to be all superior and righteous and snooty to other parents; and why shouldn't i be? my child has never misbehaved or been cranky or challenging. if you're the parent of a perfect child like mine, feel free to add to the list. you're entitled!
posted by laura at 6:28 PM
14 Comments:
Ugh. Tonight on the way home I was in Wal-Mart (God help me, I set foot in Wal-Mart) to get some bubble-wrap and there was an obese woman wearing short shorts and with the ugliest, veiniest legs you've ever seen. And she had three young daughters, with skinnier legs but also in short shorts and one girl was wearing a jungle-print halter that just looked TRASHY. She wasn't even an adolescent - at that age where her belly is bigger than her chest. But they just looked DIRTY. I wanted a shower when I got home.
I don't know what kind of mother she is but I'd like to think I would refrain from allowing my ten-year-old daughter to dress like jailbait - especially by example.
parents who dress inappropriately and dress their kids that way, too - excellent addition. thank you for your contribution.
Parents whose priority is to get drunk on friday nights instead of take care of their kids (note: there is a custodian in my building who is newly pregnant. She can't work late shifts on fridays because it is her night to get drunk. Why she gets pregnant and I don't, I am dying to know.)
Also, parents who smoke in front of their kids. Sorry for the smokers out there, I just think it's a dreadful habit...especially for the poor kids who have no choice in the matter.
p.s. you are cracking me up with the goat stuff and I'm glad you are feeling tingly about your new chapter. I'm dying to know the name....hope you get preggars soon, so we can find out.
Oh God Holly, good addition too!!! Laura, I totally agree with hating crappy parents. God knows, I am far from the best mom, but I am not talking about the typical mistakes all parents make (not keeping a close enough eye on your child and some stupid, preventable accident happens, or like last week when I managed to slam Evan into the edge of the couch and cause him to have a huge bruise on the side of his eye, completely unintentionally!!) I am talking about the lovely mothers on your list. Why is it THEY are allowed multitudes of kids??? This is why I can't be a part of playgroups. I spend the whole time judging the other mothers.
lmao at the goat paragraph though!!! Too freaking great!!
glad i could amuse with my goat-musings. i like to provide a full-service blog.
i think if you break it down we have several additions to the list here:
* parents who drink to the point of neglect of their children
* parents who drink while pregnant (okay, i did it a tiny little bit, too; i'm talking about parents who get drunk while pregnant, regularly)
* parents who smoke in front of their children, thereby causing them to inhale second-hand smoke
* parents who smoke in front of their children, thereby setting a bad example for them
* and may i add, parents who smoke while pregnant (which my mother-in-law did, but she didn't know any better then, bless her heart)
keep 'em comin'!
Oh, sure, but what about terrible CHILDREN?
I was practically screaming at Zelda for a full five minutes in the parking lot at Wal-Mart today to fetch my Marlboros.
stop it! you're killing me!
Okay, I got another one.
What's up with women who get pregnant by several different guys? What's up with the guys who are about to become a statistic with child support to pay for eighteen years? And then there are the ones who think it's their duty to populate the planet single-handedly (think Kevin Federline and my SIL's ex-husband) - why do women trust these creeps?
I must give the caveat - my SIL has two kids by two different fathers. She is adopted and thus hopefully if this is a genetic tendency it will end soon. Although in reality it probably won't. She is still young and of course has the kids. Her 'best friend' has four kids by four different guys and isn't even thirty yet!
Parents who say stuff to their kids that is totally inappropriate. There is a wide range here, lately I've heard "you made us miss the streetcar," (the kid was maybe 2, I'd say it was more likely an adult organizational issue than a child one) and "I wish I'd never had you!" Obviously I lept into the breach on the second one and offered to take on the child myself. No luck.
I also hate parents who don't prepare their kids for things and then expect them to know what to do. If your kid has never been on public transit/an escalator/to daycare before explain how it works first! And parents who do everything for their kids and then wonder why the kids are useless really piss me off. After a good 20 minutes of bitching and moaning about how much work he is, my painter was shocked when I suggested that her 9 year old son was probably old enough to make his own lunch and help with things like laundry and meal preparation; you'd think I'd suggested that he was old enough to light his own cigarettes (he is). The kicker is that these parents will be whining and moaning that their kids never leave home, and why should they? I'd love it if my mum still did my laundry and made my lunch every day.
Last but not least are parents who indulge their kids every whim, no matter how stupid or harmful, so that their kids will 'like' them and consider them to be a 'friend'. This, combined with the above-noted uselessness-by-overparenting, ends up making my life hell when they come to University and don't understand that the sun doesn't actually shine out of their own perfect ass and that life involves actual work and independent thinking and living. Yea gods, you mean I have two feet and I have to stand on them?! Shocking.
God is that the time? We should be heading down Cleveland way right quick.
i love you all!
deadbabymama - get with it! don't be late! i cleaned the toilet in your bathroom - we don't want my work to go unappreciated!
Omg the smoking thing reminded me of something. When we went to a cookout for the 4th of July, this mom comes up with her almost 3 year old son. The kid was barefoot and we were under a PINE tree. So then she kept yelling at him to "stop being a baby" because he was crying from his feet hurting. Then she went to the car and found a pair of shoes for him. While she was helping him put his shoes on, she was smoking, AND SHE BURNED him!! It wasn't intentional, but omg put the cigarette DOWN for a minute at least!! I was so thoroughly disgusted!!!
Other ones who sin against us are the grandparents who let this go on. My in-laws are practically raising their grandson and granddaughter so their single daughter (the kids' mother) can party all the time - my SIL is adopted and my in-laws have always wanted to make her feel 'special,' so they accommodate her in this way. And of course the kids get a steady diet of whatever-they-want (junk food, toys, activities, compliments, screaming for hours on end). The girl is four years old and doesn't even know her ABC's because she never felt like learning them. Thank God the boy (nine) has more initiative.
This is why I dread seeing my in-laws every Sunday.
Thanks for letting me bitch. I'll shut up now.
deadbabymama, you should read this post (http://mamasays.org/comments.php?id=246_0_1_0_C) on the sometimes blog "mama says". i love it when she talks about the "now throroughly-discredited self-esteem movement" - i thought of this post when i read your comments about how unprepared your students are.
Parents who bully their kids but will then bully any other parent in defense of said kid who has copied mum and dad a beat the crap out of another kid just outside of everyone's sight.
Also parents who fail to stomp on their kids when they bully other kids even if they (the parents) aren't bullies themselves. They put it down to just being a 'phase', meanwhile a little criminal is being bred.
Someone get the naughty chair please....
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