how to lose those last ten pregnancy pounds before you gain them! also, how do i love my ob? let me count the ways

a week ago today, i wore my favorite black pants, and i was sad, because it was going to be the last time i wore them. i could still fasten them, but when i sat at my desk all day, the pressure of the waistband was starting to give me headaches. today, i wore the same pants and had to keep hiking them up. they actually looked bad because they were too big. that never, ever happens to me.

while my mom and sister were here and we were out shopping, i got this great deal on a black corduroy blazer - perfect for my very casual office and fall activities in general. it was cut a little more generously in the waist area than most jackets, so i thought, aha! a great piece to get me through pregnancy! i survived last winter by wearing maternity tees with my regular blazers open; i thought i'd actually be able to button this new blazer for a while. i debuted it today and it hung on me like a sack. it looks like i borrowed my mom's blazer. well, not my mom's blazer - my mom is 5'2" and weighs about 100 lbs soaking wet - but someone's much larger mom's blazer.

i've had to keep reminding myself all day of the dr's assurances that the baby will be fine, not to mention the fact that i yakked three times today - always a good sign that the pregnancy progresses healthily. i'm trying to focus on the fact that i don't have to wear maternity pants for a bit longer.

*****

my ob called me this morning to check up on me. this kind of call is why i did not change doctors. he was glad the fever and diarrhea were gone and sorry for my misery but glad for the nausea because you know that's a good sign..... he offered me compazine or tigan for the nausea, but i tried tigan last time before the reglan and it didn't work, and compazine sounded vaguely menacing, so i told him the side effects of the zofran were ten times worse than persistent nausea and vomiting and i wasn't ready to risk any new side effects yet. the whole experience of repeatedly soiling oneself sort of puts nausea in perspective, you know? i only threw up once before work and twice at work, and i considered it a good day. a week ago i would have been in tears. things change.

*****

i checked with dr google on compazine and found it is commonly used as part of the comprehensive treatment of schizophrenia and is a sedative. maybe this is the way to get that coma i've been wanting!

on second thought, here is the list of possible side effects:

1. Abnormal muscle rigidity,
2. abnormal secretion of milk,
3. abnormal sugar in urine,
4. abnormalities of posture and movement,
5. agitation,
6. anemia,
7. appetite changes,
8. asthma,
9. blurred vision,
10. breast development in males,
11. chewing movements,
12. constipation,
13. convulsions,
14. difficulty swallowing,
15. discolored skin tone,
16. dizziness,
17. drooling,
18. drowsiness,
19. dry mouth,
20. ejaculation problems,
21. exaggerated reflexes,
22. fever,
23. fluid retention,
24. head arched backward,
25. headache,
26. heart attack,
27. heels bent back on legs,
28. high or low blood sugar,
29. hives,
30. impotence,
31. inability to urinate,
32. increased psychotic symptoms,
33. increased weight,
34. infection,
35. insomnia,
36. intestinal obstruction,
37. involuntary movements of arms, hands, legs, and feet,
38. involuntary movements of face, tongue, and jaw,
39. irregular movements,
40. jerky movements,
41. jitteriness,
42. light sensitivity,
43. low blood pressure,
44. mask-like face,
45. menstrual irregularities,
46. narrowed or dilated pupils,
47. nasal congestion,
48. nausea,
49. pain in the shoulder and neck area,
50. painful muscle spasm,
51. parkinsonism-like symptoms,
52. persistent, painful erections,
53. pill-rolling motion,
54. protruding tongue,
55. puckering of the mouth,
56. puffing of the cheeks,
57. rigid arms, feet, head, and muscles,
58. rotation of eyeballs or state of fixed gaze,
59. shock,
60. shuffling gait,
61. skin peeling,
62. rash and inflammation,
63. sore throat, mouth, and gums,
64. spasms in back, feet and ankles, jaw, and neck,
65. swelling and itching skin,
66. swelling in throat,
67. tremors,
68. yellowed eyes and skin.

given my track record with the odds, i'm not sure i want to risk much of anything on this list. it seems like another bad week waiting to happen.