the diy spirit

the very kind jeff w (whose own field of study is the americanization of the water baby ceremony!) has given us some invaluable information about the water baby ceremony, and we are ordering this book today that he recommended. from what we've learned so far from jeff, justin and i are thinking that the traditional japanese ceremony (which, if i understand correctly, is at least partly intended to keep the fetal spirit from coming back to bite you) may not be exactly our cup of tea. the americanized ceremony, which seems to be more for the benefit of the mother, is closer to what we want, but maybe not quite exactly it.

and so, as we often do, we'd like to adapt the ceremony to our particular use. we've been talking about it this morning and we are both thinking that we would like to host a ceremony at home. and we would like to invite fellow parents who have lost their children to participate with us. we will study up and disseminate more information as we gain it, but the ceremony would include sewing simple clothes for a statue and speaking about our wishes for our children. i don't know if it's normally appropriate, but afterwards, there would be food and drink, and everyone could take their dressed statue home to place in their own garden.

we are thinking this morning of our local fellow travelers, pengo and toni, catherine and stephen, and of others who might be able to drive in - deadbabymama, lisa p, sisyphus julie, lorem ipsum. maybe there are people farther out there, too, who would want to come. we're thinking of doing it soon, maybe a saturday in november, before the holidays and bad weather would make it too difficult. i think justin and i will do it regardless of who else wants to participate, but we would be happy to share the experience with as few or as many of you who wanted to join us. are you interested? let us know.