the little christmas blogger
bloglandia has been quiet for days, but today there are tumbleweeds blowing down the streets. justin and i chose to be mostly alone today, but it doesn't make it less lonely.
christmas eve at justin's mom's was fine, except for when his stepsister learned my sister-in-law is pregnant...and then there was much clapping and squealing and repeated exclamations of: "there's going to be a bayby!" i have never fake smiled so hard. i wanted so badly not to make an ass of myself. but i wanted to scream, "there already is a baby!" and i wanted to cry. this should have been hans's year to get fussed over. this should have been the year to complain about having to haul his stroller and seat and pack-n-play around to see all the relatives who would be doing the fussing. next christmas, if little z makes it, it will be the junior kid, the one who's not too interactive yet, while his cousins will be charming the pants off everyone.
this is my christmas pity party. i feel trite. incredibly unoriginal.
this morning we slept until after nine, exchanged our presents and had a little christmas nookie. justin brought me breakfast in bed (leftover lemon pound cake and chocolate soymilk) while i called my mom to wish her a merry christmas. we had the traditional viewing of an episode of whatever season of the simpsons has come out on dvd just in time for holiday giving, then justin did the tradtional christmas laundry while i put together the time-honored family favorite: the christmas picnic for the airport.
after i dropped justin at work, i went to see "rumor has it...", which was not bad for a chick flick, then came to the airport to meet our friends on a layover. we had our picnic at gate 29 in between justin having to run off and actually work (to which i say, whatever), and then our friends flew on to dayton and i've come to gate 14, where i can latch on to someone's wireless network and catch up on holiday blogs - of which there are ever so few.
i thought having little z around would make this christmas so much easier. but it does not. christmas sucks big, hairy, smelly-from-riding-a-camel-for-days magi dick. maybe i'm wrong. maybe it would actually be more painful than it is if little z weren't percolating inside me. but it's hard to imagine.
i love christmas. i love being with as many people i love as possible. i love the food and the music. i love the shopping, god help me, and watching people open presents for which i've hunted all over the universe. but i can't bear to get into any of that spirit right now. i just want desperately for it to be over.
two hours, forty-five minutes and counting.
christmas eve at justin's mom's was fine, except for when his stepsister learned my sister-in-law is pregnant...and then there was much clapping and squealing and repeated exclamations of: "there's going to be a bayby!" i have never fake smiled so hard. i wanted so badly not to make an ass of myself. but i wanted to scream, "there already is a baby!" and i wanted to cry. this should have been hans's year to get fussed over. this should have been the year to complain about having to haul his stroller and seat and pack-n-play around to see all the relatives who would be doing the fussing. next christmas, if little z makes it, it will be the junior kid, the one who's not too interactive yet, while his cousins will be charming the pants off everyone.
this is my christmas pity party. i feel trite. incredibly unoriginal.
this morning we slept until after nine, exchanged our presents and had a little christmas nookie. justin brought me breakfast in bed (leftover lemon pound cake and chocolate soymilk) while i called my mom to wish her a merry christmas. we had the traditional viewing of an episode of whatever season of the simpsons has come out on dvd just in time for holiday giving, then justin did the tradtional christmas laundry while i put together the time-honored family favorite: the christmas picnic for the airport.
after i dropped justin at work, i went to see "rumor has it...", which was not bad for a chick flick, then came to the airport to meet our friends on a layover. we had our picnic at gate 29 in between justin having to run off and actually work (to which i say, whatever), and then our friends flew on to dayton and i've come to gate 14, where i can latch on to someone's wireless network and catch up on holiday blogs - of which there are ever so few.
i thought having little z around would make this christmas so much easier. but it does not. christmas sucks big, hairy, smelly-from-riding-a-camel-for-days magi dick. maybe i'm wrong. maybe it would actually be more painful than it is if little z weren't percolating inside me. but it's hard to imagine.
i love christmas. i love being with as many people i love as possible. i love the food and the music. i love the shopping, god help me, and watching people open presents for which i've hunted all over the universe. but i can't bear to get into any of that spirit right now. i just want desperately for it to be over.
two hours, forty-five minutes and counting.
posted by laura at 9:00 PM
3 Comments:
Man, I'm sorry this x-mas sucks so bad for you. I soooooo hope that the next one is 1000 times better. :(
I'm sorry it's been so awful:( For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing by just having a quiet day. How much fake smiling and I'm-ok-you're-ok can one person stand after all?
Here's hoping next Christmas is the one where you can smile again ((hugs))
I was around...just being quiet so as to not depress anyone and everyone. But I see that was accomplished even without my input. I'm sorry sweetie.
christmas sucks big, hairy, smelly-from-riding-a-camel-for-days magi dick
I hadn't been able to find the words...this is a perfect description.
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