o little town of cleveland
sunny, mid 40s, no wind - this can't be cleveland at christmas! last year, we had massive dumpings of snow every day for a week before and after christmas. this year, nada. not that i'm complaining. (okay, maybe just a little.)
we did some shopping after work yesterday and then met our friends mike and kath and charlie for mexican food. charlie will be 14 months old in a couple of days. i looked forward to charlie and hans being little buddies. now, i just hope charlie won't think little z is too much of a baby to play with. charlie wonked out pretty early on us, so they went home and we rented some "six feet under" discs we hadn't seen yet (we've now finished season 3!) and "envy", which we haven't gotten around to yet.
this morning we went to the market for breakfast and provisions for tomorrow's dinner. in the parking lot, we ran into justin's aunt and uncle and friends of theirs. it was fine to see them - nice, even - but they yelled, "see you tomorrow!" as we parted, and we didn't reply. we're not going to the big traditional gathering at justin's grandma's. we just don't feel like it (plus, justin has to work in the afternoon). i don't want the tilted head questions (how are you? are you trying again?) or to be looked at. and now that justin's brother is having a baby (and his cousin's wife is seven months pregnant), i don't want to be handled, or have people curtail their happy expressions for them because i'm there. i guess we could just go public, but we just don't feel like it yet, dammit, and i don't want to take away from my sister-in-law.
instead, justin and i will be home alone tomorrow morning. we'll sleep in, and have breakfast together, then i'll take him to work. next, my plan is to go see "the family stone" (note to self: must check showtimes) and then return to the airport for christmas dinner with our friends randy and jenny, who have a two hour layover in cleveland on their way from san francisco to dayton. our christmas picnic will consist of vegan pasties we got from reilly's (the british/irish stall at the market), tomato salad and cherry crumble (both of which will take maybe 15 minutes combined to whip up in the morning). not fancy or traditional, but tasty and portable. after they leave, justin will just have an hour left at work, so i'll wait and we'll come home together. it will be one of the stranger christmas days i've spent, but it's the one i want this year.
in a few minutes i will jump in the shower and then we will head to my mother-in-law's (our one concession to family this year). i made the trifle for dessert - peaches and strawberries and lemon cream this year. it took forever today to wrap everything for justin's family - and we kept it really simple this year. my favorite present is actually what my mother-in-law asked me for - copies of pictures i have with her and her sons. i told her i wasn't sure - the pictures are old and wrinkled and i don't have negatives or digital images of them. but i wrestled them from their frames and took them to the do-it-yourself kiosk at target, and they came out amazingly well. there's one of justin and his mom, just before our wedding, all dressed up and smiling at each other, and i put that one in a curved glass and metal frame. the other one is of my brother-in-law with my mother-in-law on his back, outside our house last year at our housewarming party, and they've both got broad, horsing-around smiles; for that picture, i found a wooden frame with a burlap-ish matte that i think suits it well. i hope she likes them.
i never thought christmas would be so - i don't know the word for it. disjointed. emotional. a minefield. unwanted. desperately missed. missing a big chunk. but it could be worse. i have never loved justin more, and we have our little z, who is making me godzilla-hungry, all the freaking time.
gotta go get me some cake before i get in the shower. and to all a good night.
we did some shopping after work yesterday and then met our friends mike and kath and charlie for mexican food. charlie will be 14 months old in a couple of days. i looked forward to charlie and hans being little buddies. now, i just hope charlie won't think little z is too much of a baby to play with. charlie wonked out pretty early on us, so they went home and we rented some "six feet under" discs we hadn't seen yet (we've now finished season 3!) and "envy", which we haven't gotten around to yet.
this morning we went to the market for breakfast and provisions for tomorrow's dinner. in the parking lot, we ran into justin's aunt and uncle and friends of theirs. it was fine to see them - nice, even - but they yelled, "see you tomorrow!" as we parted, and we didn't reply. we're not going to the big traditional gathering at justin's grandma's. we just don't feel like it (plus, justin has to work in the afternoon). i don't want the tilted head questions (how are you? are you trying again?) or to be looked at. and now that justin's brother is having a baby (and his cousin's wife is seven months pregnant), i don't want to be handled, or have people curtail their happy expressions for them because i'm there. i guess we could just go public, but we just don't feel like it yet, dammit, and i don't want to take away from my sister-in-law.
instead, justin and i will be home alone tomorrow morning. we'll sleep in, and have breakfast together, then i'll take him to work. next, my plan is to go see "the family stone" (note to self: must check showtimes) and then return to the airport for christmas dinner with our friends randy and jenny, who have a two hour layover in cleveland on their way from san francisco to dayton. our christmas picnic will consist of vegan pasties we got from reilly's (the british/irish stall at the market), tomato salad and cherry crumble (both of which will take maybe 15 minutes combined to whip up in the morning). not fancy or traditional, but tasty and portable. after they leave, justin will just have an hour left at work, so i'll wait and we'll come home together. it will be one of the stranger christmas days i've spent, but it's the one i want this year.
in a few minutes i will jump in the shower and then we will head to my mother-in-law's (our one concession to family this year). i made the trifle for dessert - peaches and strawberries and lemon cream this year. it took forever today to wrap everything for justin's family - and we kept it really simple this year. my favorite present is actually what my mother-in-law asked me for - copies of pictures i have with her and her sons. i told her i wasn't sure - the pictures are old and wrinkled and i don't have negatives or digital images of them. but i wrestled them from their frames and took them to the do-it-yourself kiosk at target, and they came out amazingly well. there's one of justin and his mom, just before our wedding, all dressed up and smiling at each other, and i put that one in a curved glass and metal frame. the other one is of my brother-in-law with my mother-in-law on his back, outside our house last year at our housewarming party, and they've both got broad, horsing-around smiles; for that picture, i found a wooden frame with a burlap-ish matte that i think suits it well. i hope she likes them.
i never thought christmas would be so - i don't know the word for it. disjointed. emotional. a minefield. unwanted. desperately missed. missing a big chunk. but it could be worse. i have never loved justin more, and we have our little z, who is making me godzilla-hungry, all the freaking time.
gotta go get me some cake before i get in the shower. and to all a good night.
posted by laura at 4:48 PM
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