junkie
when i woke up this morning, i od'd.
first thing every morning, i have to test my blood sugar, and then i shoot up with insulin. i have the same exact routine at bedtime, except i take more than twice as much insulin at night as in the morning, since it's at night that my liver betrays me and manufactures the excess sugars that milo greedily demands, while the placenta plays his accomplice and fights off the insulin that should be keeping that sugar in balance. or something like that. so i take a pretty big injection at night, and then a little one when i wake up to ward off the last of the nighttime sugar surge.
this morning, i was on autopilot, i suppose, and after i tested and recorded my blood sugar, i shot up and then went to record how many units i injected - and realized i had taken my much larger nighttime dose. doh!!! there are different speeds of insulin, and i take the slow kind that works gradually over 10 or 12 hours, so i wasn't in immediate danger, but i wasn't in a good place, either, so i went downstairs and started tucking into a bowl of granola before my blood sugar got any lower while i paged the gd gd service.
twenty minutes later, no one had called back, so i paged again.
twenty minutes later, no one had called back, so i paged again.
twenty minutes later, after no answer in AN HOUR to three pages, i called good old labor & delivery. by the time the attending got on the phone, i was good and freaked out, but she was kind and reassuring (we refer to her privately and affectionately as "dr knee boots") and asked me to double the monitoring today (i normally test before meals or after meals, on alternating days, so today she wanted me to do both) and call her back after my after-lunch reading.
my next reading was unusually high (not low, as expected), then the next reading was lower than i've ever had, a few points away from hypoglycemia, then the next reading (as the insulin was peaking) was unusually high again - not in the danger zone, but with as controlled as we've kept the gd gd it was a bizarre number for me. i talked to the l&d attending again, and she felt the numbers were fine, under the circumstances, and will talk to me again at bedtime to determine what my nighttime dose will be. and the thing is - i'm fine. i'm a little freaked out, but physically i'm fine. and milo has been moving like a champ (thank goodness for that).
but the gd gd was supposed to be the one thing i could actively work on, the factor i could control, to ensure milo's safe arrival, and i can't even count on that control (between my dumb mistake this morning and my bizarre reaction to it). is this good practice for raising milo, when i will drive myself nuts if i try to control every aspect of his wellbeing? i suppose yes. but do i really want the drama of practicing the release of control right now? not really, no.
i'm going to go take a walk and have some dinner and read one of the many six-month-old magazines stacked on the ottoman waiting its turn and pretend to be totally zen about it all.
first thing every morning, i have to test my blood sugar, and then i shoot up with insulin. i have the same exact routine at bedtime, except i take more than twice as much insulin at night as in the morning, since it's at night that my liver betrays me and manufactures the excess sugars that milo greedily demands, while the placenta plays his accomplice and fights off the insulin that should be keeping that sugar in balance. or something like that. so i take a pretty big injection at night, and then a little one when i wake up to ward off the last of the nighttime sugar surge.
this morning, i was on autopilot, i suppose, and after i tested and recorded my blood sugar, i shot up and then went to record how many units i injected - and realized i had taken my much larger nighttime dose. doh!!! there are different speeds of insulin, and i take the slow kind that works gradually over 10 or 12 hours, so i wasn't in immediate danger, but i wasn't in a good place, either, so i went downstairs and started tucking into a bowl of granola before my blood sugar got any lower while i paged the gd gd service.
twenty minutes later, no one had called back, so i paged again.
twenty minutes later, no one had called back, so i paged again.
twenty minutes later, after no answer in AN HOUR to three pages, i called good old labor & delivery. by the time the attending got on the phone, i was good and freaked out, but she was kind and reassuring (we refer to her privately and affectionately as "dr knee boots") and asked me to double the monitoring today (i normally test before meals or after meals, on alternating days, so today she wanted me to do both) and call her back after my after-lunch reading.
my next reading was unusually high (not low, as expected), then the next reading was lower than i've ever had, a few points away from hypoglycemia, then the next reading (as the insulin was peaking) was unusually high again - not in the danger zone, but with as controlled as we've kept the gd gd it was a bizarre number for me. i talked to the l&d attending again, and she felt the numbers were fine, under the circumstances, and will talk to me again at bedtime to determine what my nighttime dose will be. and the thing is - i'm fine. i'm a little freaked out, but physically i'm fine. and milo has been moving like a champ (thank goodness for that).
but the gd gd was supposed to be the one thing i could actively work on, the factor i could control, to ensure milo's safe arrival, and i can't even count on that control (between my dumb mistake this morning and my bizarre reaction to it). is this good practice for raising milo, when i will drive myself nuts if i try to control every aspect of his wellbeing? i suppose yes. but do i really want the drama of practicing the release of control right now? not really, no.
i'm going to go take a walk and have some dinner and read one of the many six-month-old magazines stacked on the ottoman waiting its turn and pretend to be totally zen about it all.
posted by laura at 5:21 PM
4 Comments:
Sorry about the insulin scare. But what the hell is up with the gd gd? All of those pages and still no response? They've got some explaining to do. Perhaps it is a broken pager like my doctor claimed when it took him three hours to get back to my page--and that was only me worrying about non-relaxing muscle cramp. I am glad to hear things were manageable all day in terms of your levels. I am glad Dr. Knee Boots could offer you help.
Oh, I forgot to add a thank you for sharing about your contractions. It definitely calmed me to know that it is a normal occurrence. Thanks!
I know it's difficult to do, but try not to beat yourself up over your blood sugar levels too much. It sounds like you are really on top of things and managing your gd gd well, in conjunction with your doctors. That really is to be commended.
Blood sugar control is hard work. Really hard work and it will wear you out and stress you out and freak you out until you just want to scream. I liken it to Chinese Water Torture - drip drip drip. It never ends. Keep doing what you're doing - from the sounds of it, you're really handling it well.
You are SO rock and roll.
Post a Comment
<< Home