my family further exceeds its tragedy quotient for the year
my brother-in-law is involved with someone else; my sister and jay have gone to stay with my mom. all of this has happened in the last three hours. well, not my brother-in-law's infidelity, but his admission of it. fuck.
apparently my future-ex-brother-in-law felt the spark had gone out of their marriage, so he turned to a woman he met in a therapy group to which my sister asked him to go before they got married in 2002. this woman, who incidentally is named after one of the virtues, had been calling/e-mailing/instant messaging him several times a day lately to talk to him about her marital trouble. how original. i suppose they deserve each other.
it occurred to me after i talked to my sister that if hans had lived, it could have been us. but then justin said some lovely, vile things about what a bastard he was to expect big sparks with a newborn at home, and reminded me that they have always seemed to have a boring relationship, which we clearly don't. and then he told me how he loved it when i crawled on top of him the other day but how much more he loves that i held him when he was freaking out about hans the other night and how i pack him little lunches and a million other things that add up to why he loves me.
when my sister and i got married within six months of each other, we joked that we should swap husbands. my sister is seven years younger than me; my husband is eight months younger than her, and hers is three years older than me. yeah, i'm glad we didn't swap, but i'm more amazed that justin gets that love changes over time, and that sparks require work and don't constitute love on their own, and he's eleven years younger than a man who once wooed my sister with flowers and perfume and walks on the beach and stopped paying attention and wandered off. it makes me grateful but sad.
my heart breaks for my sister. it almost breaks more that she has to rely on my mom and has to tell my mom what's happened. she has been working so hard the last year to have an adult relationship with my mom and not a mommy relationship, and this will be a humiliation and a setback.
the bright spot (for me) is that it was my brother-in-law who insisted that his son be called j.d. and not jay as they originally planned, so now all bets are off. i will call him jay to his face and in front of the whole world until he's old enough to indicate what he wishes to be called.
but i would rather that my brother-in-law still loved my sister, as she deserves, and that they were a happy family.
apparently my future-ex-brother-in-law felt the spark had gone out of their marriage, so he turned to a woman he met in a therapy group to which my sister asked him to go before they got married in 2002. this woman, who incidentally is named after one of the virtues, had been calling/e-mailing/instant messaging him several times a day lately to talk to him about her marital trouble. how original. i suppose they deserve each other.
it occurred to me after i talked to my sister that if hans had lived, it could have been us. but then justin said some lovely, vile things about what a bastard he was to expect big sparks with a newborn at home, and reminded me that they have always seemed to have a boring relationship, which we clearly don't. and then he told me how he loved it when i crawled on top of him the other day but how much more he loves that i held him when he was freaking out about hans the other night and how i pack him little lunches and a million other things that add up to why he loves me.
when my sister and i got married within six months of each other, we joked that we should swap husbands. my sister is seven years younger than me; my husband is eight months younger than her, and hers is three years older than me. yeah, i'm glad we didn't swap, but i'm more amazed that justin gets that love changes over time, and that sparks require work and don't constitute love on their own, and he's eleven years younger than a man who once wooed my sister with flowers and perfume and walks on the beach and stopped paying attention and wandered off. it makes me grateful but sad.
my heart breaks for my sister. it almost breaks more that she has to rely on my mom and has to tell my mom what's happened. she has been working so hard the last year to have an adult relationship with my mom and not a mommy relationship, and this will be a humiliation and a setback.
the bright spot (for me) is that it was my brother-in-law who insisted that his son be called j.d. and not jay as they originally planned, so now all bets are off. i will call him jay to his face and in front of the whole world until he's old enough to indicate what he wishes to be called.
but i would rather that my brother-in-law still loved my sister, as she deserves, and that they were a happy family.
posted by laura at 10:33 PM
1 Comments:
That is totally crap. I could happily murder your ex-brother-in-law and I've only met him for 5 minutes. What a complete and utter wanker, I am so sorry for your family.
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